Catnip..

HELP!! Why is it when I decide to get something I can't find it anywhere. I promised Ollie I would get him some catnip after he had heard all about it from his kitty blogging buddies, he even agreed to share a bit with his sister Smudge. But to be honest she is happy with some toothpaste..strange cat.

Anyway I now have an impatient cat who keeps on looking in all the bags when I come back from town, and do you think I can find any..NOPE! I've looked in plant shops, pet shops even pound shops, but oh no I cant find it. Oh yeah I can find the herb catnip ready to plant, but no dried catnip for the kitties to get all excited over. And if another shop assistant offers me a catnip toy, no I don't want the toys stuffed with catnip, my cats, especially Ollie, don't like toys for some reason they would rather have live flesh, mainly my arm or hand.

So my question is.. Where can I find dried catnip, the kind that cats love to play with - you know I suppose its kind of like cat weed instead of human weed..lol

OMG I just realised I am offering to give my cats their ideal dope..oh gods what a bad mommy I am. Hey if it keeps them quiet who am I am to complain..

All help will be greatfully appreciated, and I know Ollie would definately be a happy cat.. And here is the little horror in his full glory:

click to enlarge

This is absolutely disgusting..

I was listening to the quick round up of the daily news on the t.v. and they highlighted this awful story that was in the Daily Mail today about a little girl that had been hit by a car and was lying in the road, and all the drivers just drove round her, and no-one stopped to help her. The complete story is below and the link is: How Could Drivers Leave My Little Girl?

'How could drivers ignore my badly hurt daughter?'

Car after car drove round this girl as she lay in agony after a hit-and-run accident

Daily Mail 23:00pm 6th June 2006

C**** recovers in hospital after she was knocked down by a car..

As the car that had hit her sped away, the badly injured little girl tried to crawl towards the safety of the kerb. Seconds later another car appeared. But the driver did not stop to help. He simply drove around her. Then another. And another. Eight-year-old C*** was left screaming in the road with a broken leg. Last night, as she lay in hospital, police expressed horrified astonishment that so many drivers had failed to stop.

"I have never come across anything like it in the years I have been a traffic officer," said one policeman. "It's not as if they wouldn't have seen her, she was screaming for help at the top of her voice."

C*** had been out walking with her mother and brother and sister near their home in *********** last Wednesday at 8.45pm. She had run ahead with the sons of a neighbour to buy bubblegum at a shop and was crossing the road to rejoin her mother when she was hit by the car.The impact of the crash threw her into the air and she landed in the middle of the road, her leg broken in two places and blood pouring from the wound. It took a full two minutes - in which at least six drivers drove around her - for a motorist finally to stop and help the traumatised little girl to the pavement.

Yesterday there was widespread disgust and dismay in the local neighbourhood at her ordeal. Her mother ***** said those who ignored her daughter were just as guilty as the hit-and-run driver.

"I can't believe someone can run over a child and not even bother to check they're okay. It's inhumane," she said. "But then a whole queue of traffic went past Cait. One car actually stood there as she pulled herself out of the way. "You'd have thought that anyone in their right mind would stop to help, even out of curiosity. But obviously they were all too busy. "It says something about the breakdown in community in the modern world where everyone is too busy or too unconcerned to think about anyone else. "If it had been someone with a knife in their hand I could understand it, but this was just a little girl. You wouldn't treat an animal like this."

C*** has since had two operations on her leg. She is expected to leave hospital this week but will have to return for physiotherapy several times a week and will not be able to go to school for up to three months.

Road safety campaigners and community leaders believe C*** experience is an indictment of a society too willing to look the other way. Road safety group RoadPeace said she could have received further injuries or been killed as she lay in the road. It called for tougher punishments for hit-and-run drivers and those who fail to come to the aid of people injured in accidents. "This case is appalling," said chairman Zoe Stow. "It shows people don't show common decency or an understanding of right and wrong when they get behind the wheel of a car."

C*** and her friends had crossed the road at a point where there were no parked vehicles for around 25 yards. They would have been clearly visible. In the heat of the moment, the terrified boys she was with, aged seven and nine, ran off to get help, leaving her alone. Speaking from her bed in hospital in ******, yesterday, she said: "I was walking into the road and went to step back when I saw a car but didn't get my leg back in time. "The front wheel hit my leg and then the back wheel went over it. They just kept going. It started to hurt and made me go all cold. I also lost my bubblegum. "I was calling for help but other people kept driving past me. After a couple of minutes a car stopped and someone helped me. "I'm feeling a little bit better but I can't go to school which makes me sad. It's fun at school. It gives me something to do and I've got all my friends there."

Local councillor said the hit-and-run driver had shown 'little respect' for the community and called on him to hand himself in to police. He added: "As for those who ignored the girl, it's very difficult to understand what they were thinking. It's almost inconceivable they would do that."

Thames Valley Police are looking for a small red car, possibly a Peugeot or VW Golf, in connection with the incident. CCTV at local shops caught passing vehicles but not their registration plates.
A PC said: "There is a good chance there is damage to the vehicle and we are hoping someone will report it, even if it involves a loved one. "It may be the driver didn't see the girl and didn't realise they had hit her, in which case the sooner they come forward the better."Police said the hit-and-run driver was not likely to have been driving much beyond the street's 30mph speed limit otherwise Cait's injuries could have been more serious.

I just don't know what this place is coming to when some-one could not stop for a little girl in the road who was clearly in distress and pain. What were they frightened of? Sheesh these people that drove past her surely must have no consience at all..

Noises in the night..

I am sitting here with just the laptop screen light showing and one low light on at the other end of the room. No sound on anywhere as I wanted to be in peace while sorting out some bits and bobs on the computer. And what do I hear???

One small elderly black and white cat snoring and purring very loudly in her sleep with her feet outstretched as far as they will go.

And another not so small young black and white cat snoring and snorting very loudly on the armchair, all curled up in a small ball.

Do you think they are trying to tell me I should go to bed..lol





My mood ~~~

[Listening to: Two cats snoring and silence outside..]

This really made me gulp..

I was reading this on one of my emails today and it really made me sit up and it was the kind of thing that brings the small hairs on the back of your neck tingle.. I hope you find it as awe inspiring as I did.

A time comes in your life when you finally get it...when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out...ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying and blaming and struggling to hold on. Then, like a child quieting down after a tantrum, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes. This is your awakening. You realize it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to magically appear over the next horizon.

You realize that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings, and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you... and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are... and that's OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions.

You learn the importance of loving and championing yourself... and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval. You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you - or didn't do for you - and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.

You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that everything isn't always about you.

So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself... and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance. You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties... and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.

You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with.

You learn that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.

You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You learn that alone does not mean lonely.

You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.

You learn that your body really is your temple. You begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drink more water, and take more time to exercise.You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you believe you deserve, and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone, and that it's OK to risk asking for help.

You learn the only thing you must truly fear is fear itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms.

You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people... and you learn not to always take it personally.

You learn that nobody's punishing you and everything isn't always somebody's fault. It's just life happening. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you.You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.

Then, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than your heart's desire.

You make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. Finally, with courage in your heart, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best you can.

A tag..

I was tagged by Mooshu the other day to do the fives. At the end I'll name 5 people I'd like to tag in return, all entirely voluntary but I hope you'll read and play along!

5 things in my fridge

• Two red peppers
• Two tubs of 3 cheese coleslaw
• 4 pints of semi skimmed milk
• Half a tin of gourmet cat food
• Small bar of Lindt milk chocolate

5 items in my closet

• A long white gypsy style skirt
• A purple suede small handbag
• A brown disney backpack
• A black and white checked wooly scarf
• A fluffy black cardigan

5 items in my purse (handbag)

• My purse (it's where I keep my money so its only small)
• A filofax
• My 2006 diary
• A packet of tissues
• Clinque lipstick

5 items in my car

• A packet of softmints
• A fluffy pink dice
• A bagpuss air freshener
• Some tissues
• A hanging pentagram

5 people to tag

• Belinda
• Gemmak
• Kiwijo
• Christine (Coffecup thoughts)
• Barbara (Mainely Stitching)
  

Ooops haven't updated for awhile..

So sorry I haven't updated since 25th March I suppose you could say I don't really do anything exciting or have anything exciting or worth blogging about happen to me.

Oooh before I forget I have been tagged by Mooshu. So will do that in a post after this one.

Anyway onto this post - it's mainly to show off a few photo's that I took recently and over the weekend.. Enjoy..

On Friday we had our old patio doors taken out and brand new UPV french doors put in, which I am pleased to say they are so much better than the patio doors. I am beginning to wonder why we didn't have them before..

Our old patio doors

click to enlarge

The new french doors with door hanging ornament.

click to enlarge

And here's a couple of Ollie..

click to enlarge

click to enlarge

My mood..

SBBEB Exchange

I meant to put a post up earlier with a picture of my exchange piece that I received from Heather from Melanie's Exchange on the SBBEB board. So as I am downloading pics from the camera here it is, and I must say I am so pleased with it.. Unfortunately I can't show the piece I sent to Chiara in Italy until I know she has received it.

Thank you so much Heather for this beautiful needlecase and bits and pieces, I love them.

Click to enlarge..

Click to enlarge..

Click to enlarge..

It is May and not November..?

This is what we had two days ago, freaky weather, and if you look closely enough at the second picture you can see the hail stones on the patio...

click to enlarge

click to enlarge

click to enlarge

Oh no I have it bad..someone take me away now..

I am addicted to Big Brother and Big Brother's Big Mouth..oh my god I never though I would ever hear myself say that ever. Ack!!! Is there some kind of thing I can take for this horrible affliction? Do they have anonymous clubs or something..? I also think I am strangely getting drawn to Russell Brand., the presenter of Big Brother's Big Mouth...ack! Now that is sad..please someone help me.. Am I strong enough to go through 12 weeks of this, will I need comprehensive therapy at the end of it.. Will I last till the next Big Brother? Oooh questions questions..

*My name is >>>>> and I a Big Brother addict..*

My mood ~~~

Aaaah who's the twit in this house..

Yep me.. lol.

I thought a surveyor was coming around from the french door people this morning at 8am, so I am up and out of bed by 7.45am and all ready for the man to turn up at the time arranged. But nope no sign of him at 8am - there's me sitting at home like a bit of a lemon. And after a couple of hours, and an email to D it suddenly dawns on me the surveyor is coming at 8pm tonight..

Gods I do feel a wally..lol

Well at least I think they meant 8pm.. Otherwise tomorrow I will be on the phone to them wondering where they were..

So I am going to hunt out something to eat and something warm for my feet as its blooming freezing here, and curl up on the sofa and watch "Mum's on Strike"

It is May isnt it, we havent fast forwarded to November and no-one has told me...

My mood ~~~

*edited to put May as I thought it was June..aaaaaaah not a good day at all..lol*

The Procrastinators Creed

I just saw this on a blog I was flicking through and just had to put it on here..

1. I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.

2. I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses.

3. I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration.

4. I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.

5. I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations.

6. I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time given.

7. If at first I don't succeed, there is always next year.

8. I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.

9. I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word, when I get around to it.

10. I will never put off 'til tomorrow, what I can forget about forever

Found on Scraps of Mind's blog.

Other people have more interesting lives than me..

Ok so its probably not the right title for this post, but hey who cares - its my blog and I can write what title I want..lol. Oooh kind of reminds me of that 80's song "Its my party and I'll cry if I want" *click on link for lyrics*

So what has been happening at Chez Natty? Err not a lot..lol We went out at the weekend shopping in Gravesend. It was mainly a trip to go and order the french doors for the living room and then we did a quick diversion to Gravesend so I could go and get some clothes, with the money I managed to get out of D eventually. I was such a happy bunny bouncing around the shops trying on different clothes, and had a shock actually. I have gone down ANOTHER dress size.. yep you read that right, I've gone down yet another dress size. I couldnt believe it, there was me looking at size 16 skirts, and they were way too big, so I had to get size 14's in some. The only trouble is I still need a size 18 for the tops, my flipping boobs have not gone down in size at all - so thats why I have to wear the 18's up top. I have decided that I am going to end up like Dolly Parton - all boobs and small waist.. Well I dont think D will mind that much, if only I could get him interested enough..lol You know what was really weird, when I weighed myself I had only really actually lost 2lbs but the inches are disappearing rather fast.. So I think maybe I might have levelled out on weight now, and because I am following a reasonable diet - the Paul McKenna Think Yourself Slim diet..although its not a diet as I know diets. You can actually eat what you want, when you want but within reason. And it does work, believe me. I have actually learnt to listen to my body, and when I'm hungry I eat, and I dont eat now for the sake of it. Also if I want to eat a gooey cake or chocolate then I dont deny myself anymore. I actually enjoy it, and I dont eat the whole cake or choc bar like I used to. I am finding that I am deviating over to healthier foods and salads. I often find myself snacking on tomatoes or a couple slices of ham rather than sugary stuff. So yes as you can tell I am really pleased with having gone down a dress size without even realising it. Maybe its cos I am actually cooking proper foods every night instead of having takeaways twice a week.. I dont know..maybe I wont ever know, but what I do know is its actually working.

More news..hmm let me see. We have placed our order for our french doors, and they are coming to rip out the patio doors and put in some really nice french doors in the living room in a weeks time. I am really looking forward to it, it finally means the house is getting sorted out. D has also said we can have the double glazing windows changed later this year/early next year. The only downside is that I have to keep up with my cleaning and cooking, mustn't let the house get to how it used to be a few years ago when I was severely depressed. Well I suppose thats not too much to ask is it..besides the house is really looking nice and clean/tidy anyway. At least I am not afraid to have anyone turn up unexpectadly now.. And I am afraid to say its not all my doing, nope its been done with the help of an american lady, and she has this website called Flylady, and I hate to admit it but without some of the principles of Flylady the house wouldn't be like it is now..and I suppose because the house is clean and tidy then I am happy..and so is D, and this means he is prepared to do things around the house and get the major stuff that needs doing done.

Wow I didnt realise this post was going to be so long.. I was only going to write a wee post but somehow it seems to have taken a life of its own.. I think I will sign off now, and write later the things I was going to write about..thats if I can remember what they were..lol

My mood ~~~~

Eeeks I dont like this one..

Was browsing the blogs and came across this from Melissa's blog, I'm not quite sure I like it..

In a Past Life...

You Were: A Gentle Mathematician. Where You Lived: Iran. How You Died: Suicide.

Who Were You In a Past Life?

I much prefer this one:

You Are a Blue Flower

A blue flower tends to represent peace, openness, and balance. At times, you are very delicate like a cornflower. And at other times, you are wise like an iris. And more than you wish, you're a little cold, like a blue hydrangea.

What Color Flower Are You?

Ack where did the weekend go?

Well its Monday once again, and yet again I have lost the weekend - did someone take it away while I was not looking..? If so can they give it back..lol

I haven't got a lot to say about the weekend as it passed in a blur, most of it I was suffering with a horrible migraine that didn't want to go away. I think it had a lot to do with the horrendous thunderstorm that we had Saturday evening. I even had to turn the computer and cable modem off, thank gods I did - the power surges we got were unbelievable. At last count I think we were heading towards 10 in under half an hour.. I was so glad when the storm passed.

D and I had a discussion over guess what??? Yep it was none other than money..Well that's nothing new then is it. I asked him if he could possibly let me have a couple of hundred to get some new summer clothes and underwear.. You would have thought I had asked him to walk on hot coals. When he came up with his usual comment of that he hadnt got the money to lend me, stupid me told him that I had seen his bank accounts and I knew damn well he had the money squirreled away in various bank accounts. Blimey we could have paid our mortgage completely off with the amount he is squirrelling away. Anyway after a bit of a heated debate we compromised..lol. He is actually lending me the money to go clothes shopping hopefully this coming weekend. Well I did have a good arguement, besides I said that if I wasnt paying off prior debts I wouldnt be so broke, also I had lost weight and all last years summer clothes do not fit at all. Well it is all for D's benefit, if I am happy then he is happy.. Well thats my thinking anyway. Besides I am looking forward to getting some new underwear..and making him squirm by asking him in the shop if he likes the stuff or not..hehehee.

Yesterday I spent most of the afternoon on the sofa watching Celebrity Soccer on Sky One. I can't believe I am actually watching football at the moment - so far I have watched nearly every charity football game that has been on over the past month. I wonder if I am turning into a closet footy fan..lol

So that was my really exciting weekend...lol

My mood ~~~~

101 things in 1001 days.

The Mission:
Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days.

The Criteria:
Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on my part).

Why 1001 Days?
Many people have created lists in the past - frequently simple goals such as new year's resolutions. The key to beating procrastination is to set a deadline that is realistic. 1001 Days (about 2.75 years) is a better period of time than a year, because it allows you several seasons to complete the tasks, which is better for organising and timing some tasks such as overseas trips or outdoor activities

Some common goal setting tips:

1. Be decisive. Know exactly what you want, why you want it, and how you plan to achieve it.

2. Stay Focussed. Any goal requires sustained focus from beginning to end. Constantly evaluate your progress.

3. Welcome Failure. Frequently, very little is learned from a venture that did not experience failure in some form. Failure presents the opportunity to learn and makes the success more worthy.

4. Write down your goals. It clarifies your thinking and reinforces your commitment.

5. Keep your goals in sight. Review them frequently, and ensure that they are always at the forefront of your thinking.

As seen on Triplux

Well here's my list and believe me it has taken me awhile to figure out what I was going to put on this list..


General:

1. Make this list..aaaahhh
   
2. Fill in a birthday card database
   
3. Clean my car by hand, not taking it to a carwash
   
4. Clean my laptop on a regular basis - i.e. defrag, clean cookies, cache etc..
   
5. Clear all my debts and have money in the bank
   
6. Start walking my dog every day
   
7. Send out birthday cards BEFORE the actual birthdays
   
8. Make all birthday cards for my exchanges
   
9. Save all my 20p's, 10p's and 5p's for 6 months
   
10. Release some balloons for charity
    
11. Keep a record of all finances
    
12. Buy all Christmas presents before Winter Solstice (21st December)
    
13. Buy birthday presents BEFORE birthday's for family and special friends
    
14. See a show in London
    
15. Clear ironing pile, and keep ironing uptodate
    
16. Send a postcard once a week to someone different for 3 months
    
17. Send a friend flowers or a gift just because....
    
18. Read The Times newspaper every day for a month
    
19. Find a local farmers market and shop there once a month for 3 months
    
20. Feed the ducks
    
21. Go to Oxford for a day trip
    
22. Be a tourist in London for a day
    
23. Do touristy things in London
    
24. Donate or throw away 101 items in 1001 days
    
25. See "We Will Rock You" the musical with D
    
26. Go back to Paris for the day
    
27. Buy flowers every week for a month
    
    Home and Garden:
    
    
28. Go through boxes in loft and throw out what I dont want *be ruthless*
    
29. Sort out boxes in spare room and throw out what I dont want or give to charity
    
30. Paint living room
    
31. Declutter rooms in the house
    
32. Paint toilet/bathroom
    
33. Buy new bed
    
34. Buy new living room furniture
    
35. Replace kitchen units
    
36. Redo my herb garden
    
37. Weed the front garden once a week for 3 months
    
38. Weed the back garden once a week for 3 months
    
39. Paint front garden metal fence
    
40. Bake a cake every week for 3 months *this was hubby's idea as he is addicted to my banana bread*
    
41. Cook one receipe from every cookbook I own
    
42. Make a gingerbread house at Christmas
    
43. Clean windows inside and out once a month for 6 months
    
44. Grow a vegetable garden
    
45. Be self sufficient from vegetable garden for a month
    
46. Defrost both freezers
    
47. Clear out junk cupboard under the stairs
    
48. Use my icecream maker at least once a month during the summer months
    
49. Keep ontop of my "flylady" housework lists for the 1001 days
    
50. Plan menus for our evening meals and keep to this for 101 days
    
51. Make Strawberry/Rhubarb pie
    
52. Get the carpets cleaned
    
53. Make soup in the winter
    
54. Bake bread every week all winter
    
    Hobbies:
    
    
55. Sort out spare room and turn into my craft room
    
56. Cross stitch something for me
    
57. Go to stitching Get Togethers at least twice
    
58. Join a cross stitch club
    
    Me:
    
    
59. Drink 8 glasses of water a day for a week
    
60. Have a professional massage
    
61. Have Reiki or Indian Head Massage
    
62. Fly a kite
    
63. Go on a picnic
    
64. Make 1001 blog posts
    
65. Build a sandcastle
    
66. Go for a romantic nature walk
    
67. Meet a friend once a month
    
68. Learn web design - take a course
    
69. Build my webpage/blog on server space
    
70. Email a different stitching BB friend every other day for 3 months
    
71. Stop biting nails
    
72. Have a professional make over
    
73. Have hair cut and highlighted at least twice
    
74. Get up as soon as I wake up and before 9am for every day for a month
    
75. Go to sleep (not read a book) before 11.30pm every night for a month
    
76. Meet at least one online stitching friend
    
77. Overcome anxiety attacks
    
78. Buy some really sexy underwear *the full works, suspenders, thongs etc..*
    
79. Meet up with a blogging buddy
    
80. Learn to meditate
    
81. Go through all my clothes/underwear and throw away/donate all I dont wear or dont fit anymore due to being too big for me now
    
82. Have marital relations at least 3 days a week for a month
    
83. Go for a 30min walk every other day for a month *this can be included with #6*
    
84. Get new glasses
    
85. Have a professional facial
    
86. Get some new penpals and keep up with correspondence, write at least once every other week, mustn't lapse once during the 1001 days
    
87. Learn to love myself
    
88. Accept compliments
    
89. Build up my self confidence
    
90. Go to a Solstice party
    
91. Go to Witchfest 2007 in Croydon
    
92. Take a professional course in Tarot card reading
    
93. Have three Tarot/Crystal/Palm readings
    
94. Write a letter to my mum telling her how I feel and unleashing all the pain from the past 20 years. Then burn it and get on with my life.
    
95. Pick wildflowers
    
96. Renew my passport
    
97. Go to the Zoo
    
98. Have breakfast and lunch every day for 101 days
    
99. Weigh less at the end of 1001 days than I did at the beginning of 1001 days
    
100. Learn Hardanger embroidery
     
     
101. Start another 101 things to do in 1001 days when this one is nearing the end

Pansies :-)

These are on the patio, and they are looking absolutely stunning at the moment.

Pansies

Aaaah..deadlines...eeeks!!

I am a bad girl.. I have got to stitch all afternoon today and best part of the day tomorrow as I havent put together my exchange for "Melanies Exchange" on the SBEB board.. OMG someone shoot me. I dont even know how it got missed amongst my exchange pieces to do.. I really think I am going to have to put the exchange deadline dates on here in the side panel, at least that way I have no way of forgetting them or misplacing the piece. I suppose the good news is that I have finished the stitching so all I have to do is just put it together, and I have the plan of what I am going to do with it, so I suppose its not that bad when you look at it logically. Its just tomorrow is the deadline and it really has to go then, I refuse to NOT send it out on that day..lol

Still it gives me an opportunity to forget about my monthly pains..well forget them as much as I can with cramps that are killing me..lol.

A wee update..

I haven't really been upto much lately. Kind of distanced myself from various things to try and get out of my "black dog". Anyway it seems to be working, and I am pleased to say that finally I think I might be getting somewhere. It has taken a long 12 years to get this far, and will probably be another couple of years before I can finally say I have beaten it. But at least now I can see a light at the end of the tunnel.

The good news is that I only have 4 more sessions of therapy left, after a year of seeing her. Then its back to the CPN every week and seeing how I manage then.

The next stage is to get myself back out and about and in places that I dont know on my own, without having a panic attack. So that finally me and Dave can actually start living again, without the poor lamb having to worry about me if we ever went out to a strange place, or having a visit or meeting cut short cos I want to go home due to having anxiety attacks. I've also got to try and get on public transport again so that I can meet Dave in London for shows and meals out.. Well I wont be too adventureous to start, thats not for a long time down the line.

We seem to have finally got my medication sorted out so we are hoping the BiPolar is being managed now, and the depression is easing. I have finally sorted out my finances and am actually on an even keel again, although I do know that I will be without actual "spending" money for about 18 months as I am paying towards my debts, but I know I can manage them okay now. That is a bit of the battle sorted out, which was making me majorly ill. As well as various other things..

I have finally started to allow myself to grieve my nana's death and N's death, and although it is hard I am coping just.

The other thing is I have finally admitted to myself that I can do it, but I have to accept my limitations and not force myself. Babysteps as my therapist has said all the time and its finally sinking in. As I tackle or deal with one thing and that is put to bed so to speak I can allow myself to tackle something else.

Its been a very long hard struggle, and with 3 breakdowns in over 12 years I am at last seeing the light. Life is starting to look better for me than it has ever done. Although I will still get my black days but hopefully they wont be as disabiliting as they have been.

We are even thinking of giving it another go trying for a baby as I am feeling more stronger in myself. I just have to convince D to put a bit more effor into it..lol. I am going to go for more tests, examinations and fertility checks and hopefully things will work out for us this time. I am not getting any younger, and even if I did fall pregnant I would be classed as a mature mum at 38yr.. I was also told that there is a higher risk of having twins at this later stage of my years..ack!! So now we are just going to leave it up to nature and see what the goddess decides she has in store for us.

So thats where I have been, and whats happening now.. Hopefull normal service will be resumed..

Thank you to those that have been very patient with me and put up with my moaning or the depressed posts.. I can assure you it isnt normally me.. Hopefully the old me will start to shine through once more.. :-)

Damn blogrolling..

I am not amused - its down big time. Why is it that when I want to browse some blogs stupid blogrolling let me..

Oh well just means I have to do some stitching..

A quiz thingy..

Your Theme Song is Comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd

"There is no pain, you are receding. A distant ship’s smoke on the horizon. You are only coming through in waves." You haven't been feeling a lot lately, and you think that's a good thing. The comfortable part is nice... but you should really work on numb.

What's Your Theme Song?

Yep I suppose you could say this is me..plus I do like the song either when sung by Pink Floyd or Scissor Sisters..lol