Ack its 10.30am..(ish!)

And guess who hasn't had a shower or anything yet..oops

My car has to go for its annual MOT at noon and I am nowhere near ready yet. I wanted to go to the library, pick up a prescription for D and also go to Asda BEFORE I took the car into the garage. Think it will be a hurried visit to the library as I need some new books and I want to read while I am waiting for the car.

Talking of D..guess who left all their credit cards at home today..hehehe. Well actually it was my fault as I had been in his jacket checking the number on his credit card for the online postage I was ordering last night, and somehow or other the wallet they were in didn't go back into his jacket pocket, it slipped down into the wardroble. Ooops, so guess who wasn't popular when I get a call from D to say he had no cards to get any money out.. Plus he had already had a horrendous 3 hour journey into work due to a major accident on the M20 which caused chaos on all the surrounding roads..

And on another bit of news, I received my redwork exchange from the SBBEB board. All I will say is wow... I love it.. Thank you so much Barbara, and thank you for the little P.I.F. gift too. You know me so well..

Piccies to follow in another post, I must go and get showered and get to the library.

Move over rubber ducks ..

Meet fluffy teddies..

My dog Jet has a new slant on the old rubber duck for when you are in the bath.. This is what he decided to put in the bath...



And this is poor Jet looking at the fluffy teddy..



Wonder if there is a market for them..lol

Not a lot to say..

Things have been a bit quiet here for me lately, mainly because I haven't really been doing a lot, well apart from sleeping and watching t.v.

Sorry if it's a bit dull at the moment in the life of Chez Bear's, normal service will resume shortly. I do have some receipes and piccies to post - I have tried a couple of new receipes out and they have turned out really well so I thought I would share them. I've also been finishing a couple of outstanding exchanges but unfortunately I cannot share them as they haven't been received yet, but as soon as they are I will share the pictures.

So until normal service is resumed I just want to say thank you to everyone that has left comments recently, they do mean so much to me.

Barbara (mainleystitching) I will pop a letter in the post to you later this week

Divorcing duvet...

Before I go any further with this post, a warning - this is not a pity me post but it could be construed as one, so I want to apologise if anyone feels that this is what the post is about... I just need to put it down.

Afraid I have only just woken up after having absolutely no sleep last night. I basically sat downstairs all evening, wide awake, watching all the programmes that I had Tivo'd until D got up at 5am for work. I also spent a good three hours stitching on one of my projects and I am paying dearly for it at the moment with a pounding headache.

Anyway I went to bed at 6am and promptly fell fast asleep until about half an hour ago, 3.00pm, when I got up and staggered downstairs and promtly drank two cups of tea one after t'other.

I am basically going to write today off as a very bad day and a complete no-no with regards to flying.

Yesterday was a bad day, this then led to me and D having a horrendous row yesterday which left me shaken. We basically slung insults at each other and he hit the nail on the head when he said he had noticed that I had slipped back into my old ways again, when I was heading for my breakdown. I am burying myself in everything except my own life, if you see what I mean. I am snapping at him, have taken no interest then when I do I get manic over it. He also said that he had noticed I was on automatic pilot when it came to the house and cooking etc.. Trouble is no-one else really sees this as I have got very good at putting on that "face" that I had all those years ago when I had my breakdown, and poor D is the only one that seems to be able to break through this "face". And yes we do know what has sent me spiralling downhill big time - it was Mum's death. It has taken its toll on me harder than I ever imagined it would. Trouble is I can't explain why because of our turbulous relationship over the years.

It also doesn't help that my psychiatrist appointment keeps getting changed for various reasons and I haven't seen them properly for a while now. My medication isn't working so we need to look at another form of medication. I have also had to get my Dr to renew my prescription for my sleeping tablets as I am not sleeping properly again. That is a major factor in my depression and I am hoping once I can get that sorted out again I will start to head upwards. The other thing is I am having to wait for my next round of councelling - I could go private but at the moment it is not an option to consider. I know the mental health team here from my last round of councelling and would like to stay with them if I could. Trouble is it will take a long time and as I know from the last round it will get worse before it gets better.

There are things that I need to tackle in the house and the trouble is until I do this I can't move forward, but it is also these things that are making me avoid the issues. Its like a viscious circle :-(

Anyway I am off to shower and do the washing up.

Thankyou for reading this if you have got this far and haven't been driven to sleep..lol

First daffodil of the season..

Here is the first daffodil of the spring, although spring isn't here yet it's somewhere around the corner.

I was so lucky as this daffodil opened just in time on my birthday Sunday and it felt rather special knowing that Mum had daffodils in her room when I was born, and here was the first one from our garden flowering on my 39th. Made me feel all gooey inside..

39 today ..

39years ago today in Farnborough Hospital a wee lassie was born at 17.55pm to B. And that wee lassie was me

The year I was born my mum's hospital room was full of daffodils, and I actually have a bunch of daffodils, that I cut from my front garden, sitting in one of mum's vases on the middle of my dining room table - these are for mum

Here's to another 39 years, and hopefully this is now the start of my new life.

Baby its cold...

The weather here is certainly taking another turn for the worse. I do wish it would decide whether its going to be nice and sunny or grey and blooming freezing. My poor heating is on and off like a yoyo. At the moment it is off but I am just about to switch it on as I cannot stitch with cold hands, although it would probably help if I put a cardigan on and not just be wearing a tshirt and jeans.. They are forecasting snow for this week so that should be interesting, especially as the poor daffodil bulbs are almost flowering. I even have crocuses in full bloom out the front too.



I would also like to say thank you to everyone that commented on my last post, they really mean so much to me.