I don't do things by half..

About a week or so ago I stupidly managed to damage all the nerves down the right side of my back.. And you will never guess how I did this? Well even I can't believe it - I got a pint of milk out the fridge and was putting it back and then voila! One gods awful scream later and I was in the most excruciating pain imaginable. I was in that much pain I had to get D to come home from work early and get my neigbour opposite to help me get dressed. I even thought I would have to go to A&E but after speaking to my lovely Dr and then D picking up some strong prescription painkillers I managed.

As you can imagine this laid me up for over a week and just as I was starting to get feeling back and able to do things, albeit in a limited way I go and get this bloody awful sickness and diarrhea bug that is going around the UK.

How I got it I have no idea but believe me I do not want it again. This is the same bug that D had back in end August/early September of last year. Now why I couldn't have got this then I don't know but nope I get it now. I haven't even been near anyone that has been ill so I have absolutely idea how I got it. But this has laid me up since Monday and I have managed to lose half a stone in weight since then.

Poor D has even had to cook his own dinner when he comes in from work at night, bless him he hasn't complained but it can't be any fun as he gets in from London at 7ish, then has to cook a full dinner for himself and then even has to walk the dogs at 9pm. Hopefully by next week he will be able to pass the cooking back over to me to do as per normal. Still saying that I haven't even felt like eating anything - I mean there are only so many Rich Tea biscuits one person can eat when that is all they can keep in. And I have lost count of how many glasses of water I have drunk,, and here's me who doesn't even like plain water..ugh!! That's how D knows I am not well as I am willingly drinking water.

I have just had a cup of tea with a smidgen of milk and right now I can feel my stomach starting to gripe. Oh well still not ready for tea just yet, or I should say milk/dairy products.

Fingers crossed that I am feeling better at the weekend as we are having dinner with D's parents and I'm not sure I could face sitting there with everyone else tucking into a lovely roast dinner and all I have is a couple of rich tea biscuits. :-(

Ugh @ Royal Mail..

And it still continues. Royal Mail are holding the country to ransom, as per usual. This is getting ridiculous, how can one company do this. Well it seems that RM can..

I am not going to go into the whys and wherefores and my feelings on the RM strike, but one thing I will say is if they worked in any other environment then they would not be allowed to do this. I mean if my D left work early because he had done his job he would not expect to be paid for the time he was not at at work, yet this is one of the points that RM are striking over- they want to be paid for going home early. Hmmmm

Now I am off to try and post a parcel while the strike is on one of its days off, until Monday of next week. Fingers crossed it gets delivered.

Where do the days go?

I seem to lose track of the days for some reason. I have no idea how they go by so quickly - is this what they mean by as you get older the days go by quicker? Although I must admit I kept thinking yesterday was Friday and got totally confused when DH was still going into work today..doh!!

And I still haven't uploaded the pictures I took yet, I will do that I promise!!

I am still stitching, although not as much as I would like to be doing. Hopefully now the nights are drawing in I will feel more like stitching.

I have to make an appointment with my Dr for next week or the week after - I am sleeping so much it is unbelievable. I am so tired all the time. And then when I am awake I am just so exhausted that all I want to do is sleep!! Well something isn't right so it's off to Dr I go - hopefully we can pinpoint what the problem is. It could either be my ME coming back out with a vengenance or I need a tonic or something. We will see, I am sure that it will be nothing but I will probably look like a pincushion by the time we get to the bottom of it. More blood tests again..ugh I hate those damn things.

In a funk..

What on earth is the matter with me.. Since D has gone back to work from his sick leave I cannot get myself going. I have not been getting out of bed until gone 3pm, sometimes not even until D is due home. Then it's a mad rush in the shower so that I am dressed etc before he gets home.

I can see myself heading for another funk again, that's if I have even got out of my last funk... It's funny really as I was talking to D last night about what my Dr had put in my notes regarding when he keeps seeing me - I have good self care.. I was wondering whether I had to turn up with dirty hair and unkempt clothes or whether it was normal for me to take a bit of care when I was seeing the Dr. Then D hit it on the head - it's a mask!! When I dress myself to look nice when I go out or see people I do hide behind my clothes etc. It's as though looking nice detracts away from how I am really feeling. Oh sometimes I am doing okay and other times I am just hiding.

Maybe it's just the weather...

Is it really August...

What revolting weather it is outside, it has been getting blacker and blacker all morning and now the heavens have opened and it is pouring down. Looks like I will have to turn the computer modem etc off as it looks like it will thunder pretty soon..ugh!!

Looking outside I am really beginning to wonder whether we have seen the last of summer. I am convinced that winter literally lept into a weak summer, and our summer has now lept into an early winter - has England decided to join Australia and have the seasons topsy turvy..

Thankfully the horrible stomach bug that knocked both me and D out for over 10 days seems to be on its way out. Although poor D doesn't seem to be able to shift it completely. We are now on the third week with it and it doesn't want to leave D regardless of the tablets the Dr has given him. Well all I can say is blimey it must have been one heck of a stomach bug, and where the heck did we catch it from.. Still at least it wasn't food poisoning as I was starting to worry it must have been either the chicken we had for that Sunday or even the KFC I decided to treat us to on the Friday.. Maybe this was some way of saying no more takeaways..lol

I am slowly getting the house back to some sort of order, although it is taking forever for some reason. Well I suppose that's what you get when you do absolutely nothing for a good 10 days.

We have had a new addition to the house the past week - Beth. I am looking after my friends dog for her while her and her family are away camping at Soul Survivor in Somerset for a few days. Beth is a lovely little dog, she is a westie cross we think now and is about 11 years old. Thankfully she gets on with my boys, but the cats have been a bit wary the past few days. But they are now getting braver and are starting to wander back downstairs. Typical just as she is on her last couple of days..lol At the moment I have Jet asleep in Beth's dog bed, Beth asleep on Jet's chair and Bear asleep on his own chair. He was asleep next to me but I think he got the hump with me trying to get comfy on the sofa so got off and went on his chair. It is certainly doggy heaven in this house at the moment..

I have a few photo's of the pets and the flowers outside to upload to another post later on today. So mustn't forget..

Off to see the Dr later today for a Mental Health Review whatever one of those is.. Seem's like a pointless excercise seeing as I am seeing a psychiatrist on a regular basis as well as awaiting therapy to start. Oh well obviously my Dr's know what they are doing. I imagine it will be a quick hello and this is what I am taking etc..and then out again. I will probably have a longer conversation with the receptionist than the Dr..lol

Normality..

Pushing my way through the tumbleweeds, and the cobwebs taking root in every corner this is just a post to say that life at Chez Bear's blog will return to normality soon.

The usual ramblings about life will be blogged about...

Sun is shining, birds are singing and I had a horrible meeting..

Sorry couldn't think of anything else to go in the title..

Have just come back with a good half hour's session with my psychiatrist - ugh!! Finally I have a permanent psychiatrist who I will be seeing on a regular basis so can build up my trust issues at long last.

The session was not very good I am afraid, there was quite a lot of talk of hospital admission which I was very anti. You are going to have to drag me back there kicking and screaming if he wants me to go back. We have come to a compromise - he has increased my medication again and has given me three months to see if my therapy comes through in that time. If it doesn't then he is going to have review the situation.

Basically the upshot of the session was that I am very close to where I was 13 years ago when I was admitted to the psychiatric ward for my own safety and health.

The bipolar has also reared it's ugly head again, which we thought we had got under control before, which is why he has doubled the dosage of that medication - he wants to get on top of the extreme low that I have hit.

I also got a good talking too for "putting on my mask" What else am I supposed to do, not everyone wants to see me when I am "down" so I hide it. Although it does give the impression that I am doing really well.

So basically I am not going to do anything today. Can't even ring D as he is off seeing a client in Stevenage for the day and is uncontactable. Typical when I need him he isn't around.. :-(

I shall probably go quiet on here and in my stitching communities while I am just adjusting to the increase in meds as well as just generally getting myself back together again, but normal service will be resumed as soon as possible. Plus think of all that stitching I will be doing.. :-)

Ok now I have rambled on I am going to settle down with a cup of tea and try and watch a film on Channel 5 that has just come on.