A pretty little plant..

I finally found out what this little plant is called - "Hoya Bella" I inherited it from Mum's while I was sorting her house out before the funeral. It's a really sweet little plant, but knowing my mum's penchance for the weird and wonderful I had no idea what it could be. Then it flowered, wow is all I could say..the flowers were wonderful. So armed with a picture of the flowers I then went to hunt it down in my mother in law's flower books, and this weekend I found it..woohoo!!

May I present the year old addition to our family:

Pics of flowers from Mum's funeral - pic intensive.

Finally I have got round to loading up the pictures of the flowers that were at Mums funeral. All in all she did really well for flowers :-)

I have had them out in the garden, laying on the patio, now for about 3 weeks and they have finally decided to die off. I think the frost has got them..lol I did managed to salvage a lot to put in vases around the living room over the past three weeks which has been nice. The last lot are on the windowsill for Christmas, so in some respect Mum will be with me over the Christmas period.

These are the flowers that I had made up for Mum and they went on top of the coffin...

Funeral over and done with now..life can get back to normal I hope..

Well mum is at peace now, and hopefully I can start living again. I have been in limbo for the past two weeks and am still feeling a bit like its not real but I am going to try and throw myself into the christmas period.

We are off to get the tree later this morning, once I have managed to drag myself into the shower, at either our local farm up the road or the local garden centre, bit miffed though as I think they have shut the craft section down so can't browse in there. But I can ooh and aaah over their christmas section, and hopefully buy our regular supply of fruit pies at Lime Tree pantry there

Went to Bluewater yesterday as I have just discovered Virgin Vie and I have fallen in love with their new perfume Fantasia..mmmm. DH said he would treat me to cheer me up after the last couple of weeks, and boy was I spoilt but I have to wait till Christmas to get the pressies..

It still feels weird as I only have one special card to buy this year now and thats for D. None for my nan or my mum..:( Might get a card to place where her ashes will be scattered in the churchyard up the road. Have to go to pick up mums’ ashes this afternoon, wow I can’t believe they are ready so soon, then have an appointment with the solicitor to sort out this darn will..ugh!!

And D is going to Gravesend on his own while I am in Gillingham, gods knows what he will end up buying..lol Hope everyone is doing okay..hopefully I can be around a bit more from next week onwards..

Thank you to everyone for your lovely comments over the past couple of week on mums' passing, they have been a tremendous comfort for me, and I have appreciated every single one of them..

Her passing was peaceful..

At 1.11am on the 23rd November 2006 my mother gave up her will to live. She was in no pain, she was not aware of what was happening and was heavily sedated, but it was a peaceful passing. I was at her side throughout, and was with her to the end. She saw me into this world 38 years ago, and 38 years later I saw her out of this world.

Rest In Peace Mum, I will always love you.

update on mum

Hospital just phoned, mum has deteriated overnight. Her kidneys have failed and she is now on dialysis as well as the other equipment keeping her alive.

The hopital say she has basically given up, she is not responding to any treatment at all. They have said it is now basically a waiting game.

My aunt is coming down from Newcastle tomorrow to be with me and we will see what happens.

Family crisis.

I have spent all of this evening at my local hospital in the ICU department. Unfortunately my mother was rushed into A&E today and was then immediately transferred to ICU. I didn't know until my Aunt T rang me with the news at 5pm today. Once I had found out where mum was, and D had come home from work we immediately went to the hospital where I found my mum in a very bad way. D left me there and came home to sort himself and the dogs out. I have only just got back in, it is now 1.45am and I am absolutely shattered.

Unfortunately she is unable to breathe on her own and is on a ventilator. The diagnosis sadly is pneumonia (sp!) and emphysema. This is due to the heavy smoking that she has done over the many years and refuses to give up. Sadly it looks like it is going to be the killer of her.

The prognosis is not very good, she has very badly damaged lungs and one is completely knackered and complete irrepairable. The Dr who is looking after her says she is in the best place, but unfortunately because of the damage and she seems to have given up the will to live that only time will tell. He said it could be days or weeks before she makes a recovery, if she recovers at all. The next 48 hours are critical, she may or maynot make it through this time. So I am having to steal myself for the inevitable.

Unfortunately my time will now be taken up with hospital visits as I am not leaving her there on her own. So that when I have got up and sorted everything out at home I will be spending my time in the ICU with mum.

Until time tells what is going to happen I am taking some time out and will not be around as much as I have been.

Please bear with me during this heartbreaking time for me and my mum. And any positive thoughts would be appreciated.