Have just come back with a good half hour's session with my psychiatrist - ugh!! Finally I have a permanent psychiatrist who I will be seeing on a regular basis so can build up my trust issues at long last.
The session was not very good I am afraid, there was quite a lot of talk of hospital admission which I was very anti. You are going to have to drag me back there kicking and screaming if he wants me to go back. We have come to a compromise - he has increased my medication again and has given me three months to see if my therapy comes through in that time. If it doesn't then he is going to have review the situation.
Basically the upshot of the session was that I am very close to where I was 13 years ago when I was admitted to the psychiatric ward for my own safety and health.
The bipolar has also reared it's ugly head again, which we thought we had got under control before, which is why he has doubled the dosage of that medication - he wants to get on top of the extreme low that I have hit.
I also got a good talking too for "putting on my mask" What else am I supposed to do, not everyone wants to see me when I am "down" so I hide it. Although it does give the impression that I am doing really well.
So basically I am not going to do anything today. Can't even ring D as he is off seeing a client in Stevenage for the day and is uncontactable. Typical when I need him he isn't around.. :-(
I shall probably go quiet on here and in my stitching communities while I am just adjusting to the increase in meds as well as just generally getting myself back together again, but normal service will be resumed as soon as possible. Plus think of all that stitching I will be doing.. :-)
Ok now I have rambled on I am going to settle down with a cup of tea and try and watch a film on Channel 5 that has just come on.
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