SBBEB Exchange

I meant to put a post up earlier with a picture of my exchange piece that I received from Heather from Melanie's Exchange on the SBBEB board. So as I am downloading pics from the camera here it is, and I must say I am so pleased with it.. Unfortunately I can't show the piece I sent to Chiara in Italy until I know she has received it.

Thank you so much Heather for this beautiful needlecase and bits and pieces, I love them.

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It is May and not November..?

This is what we had two days ago, freaky weather, and if you look closely enough at the second picture you can see the hail stones on the patio...

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Oh no I have it bad..someone take me away now..

I am addicted to Big Brother and Big Brother's Big Mouth..oh my god I never though I would ever hear myself say that ever. Ack!!! Is there some kind of thing I can take for this horrible affliction? Do they have anonymous clubs or something..? I also think I am strangely getting drawn to Russell Brand., the presenter of Big Brother's Big Mouth...ack! Now that is sad..please someone help me.. Am I strong enough to go through 12 weeks of this, will I need comprehensive therapy at the end of it.. Will I last till the next Big Brother? Oooh questions questions..

*My name is >>>>> and I a Big Brother addict..*

My mood ~~~

Aaaah who's the twit in this house..

Yep me.. lol.

I thought a surveyor was coming around from the french door people this morning at 8am, so I am up and out of bed by 7.45am and all ready for the man to turn up at the time arranged. But nope no sign of him at 8am - there's me sitting at home like a bit of a lemon. And after a couple of hours, and an email to D it suddenly dawns on me the surveyor is coming at 8pm tonight..

Gods I do feel a wally..lol

Well at least I think they meant 8pm.. Otherwise tomorrow I will be on the phone to them wondering where they were..

So I am going to hunt out something to eat and something warm for my feet as its blooming freezing here, and curl up on the sofa and watch "Mum's on Strike"

It is May isnt it, we havent fast forwarded to November and no-one has told me...

My mood ~~~

*edited to put May as I thought it was June..aaaaaaah not a good day at all..lol*

The Procrastinators Creed

I just saw this on a blog I was flicking through and just had to put it on here..

1. I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.

2. I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses.

3. I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration.

4. I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.

5. I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations.

6. I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time given.

7. If at first I don't succeed, there is always next year.

8. I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.

9. I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word, when I get around to it.

10. I will never put off 'til tomorrow, what I can forget about forever

Found on Scraps of Mind's blog.

Other people have more interesting lives than me..

Ok so its probably not the right title for this post, but hey who cares - its my blog and I can write what title I want..lol. Oooh kind of reminds me of that 80's song "Its my party and I'll cry if I want" *click on link for lyrics*

So what has been happening at Chez Natty? Err not a lot..lol We went out at the weekend shopping in Gravesend. It was mainly a trip to go and order the french doors for the living room and then we did a quick diversion to Gravesend so I could go and get some clothes, with the money I managed to get out of D eventually. I was such a happy bunny bouncing around the shops trying on different clothes, and had a shock actually. I have gone down ANOTHER dress size.. yep you read that right, I've gone down yet another dress size. I couldnt believe it, there was me looking at size 16 skirts, and they were way too big, so I had to get size 14's in some. The only trouble is I still need a size 18 for the tops, my flipping boobs have not gone down in size at all - so thats why I have to wear the 18's up top. I have decided that I am going to end up like Dolly Parton - all boobs and small waist.. Well I dont think D will mind that much, if only I could get him interested enough..lol You know what was really weird, when I weighed myself I had only really actually lost 2lbs but the inches are disappearing rather fast.. So I think maybe I might have levelled out on weight now, and because I am following a reasonable diet - the Paul McKenna Think Yourself Slim diet..although its not a diet as I know diets. You can actually eat what you want, when you want but within reason. And it does work, believe me. I have actually learnt to listen to my body, and when I'm hungry I eat, and I dont eat now for the sake of it. Also if I want to eat a gooey cake or chocolate then I dont deny myself anymore. I actually enjoy it, and I dont eat the whole cake or choc bar like I used to. I am finding that I am deviating over to healthier foods and salads. I often find myself snacking on tomatoes or a couple slices of ham rather than sugary stuff. So yes as you can tell I am really pleased with having gone down a dress size without even realising it. Maybe its cos I am actually cooking proper foods every night instead of having takeaways twice a week.. I dont know..maybe I wont ever know, but what I do know is its actually working.

More news..hmm let me see. We have placed our order for our french doors, and they are coming to rip out the patio doors and put in some really nice french doors in the living room in a weeks time. I am really looking forward to it, it finally means the house is getting sorted out. D has also said we can have the double glazing windows changed later this year/early next year. The only downside is that I have to keep up with my cleaning and cooking, mustn't let the house get to how it used to be a few years ago when I was severely depressed. Well I suppose thats not too much to ask is it..besides the house is really looking nice and clean/tidy anyway. At least I am not afraid to have anyone turn up unexpectadly now.. And I am afraid to say its not all my doing, nope its been done with the help of an american lady, and she has this website called Flylady, and I hate to admit it but without some of the principles of Flylady the house wouldn't be like it is now..and I suppose because the house is clean and tidy then I am happy..and so is D, and this means he is prepared to do things around the house and get the major stuff that needs doing done.

Wow I didnt realise this post was going to be so long.. I was only going to write a wee post but somehow it seems to have taken a life of its own.. I think I will sign off now, and write later the things I was going to write about..thats if I can remember what they were..lol

My mood ~~~~

Eeeks I dont like this one..

Was browsing the blogs and came across this from Melissa's blog, I'm not quite sure I like it..

In a Past Life...

You Were: A Gentle Mathematician. Where You Lived: Iran. How You Died: Suicide.

Who Were You In a Past Life?

I much prefer this one:

You Are a Blue Flower

A blue flower tends to represent peace, openness, and balance. At times, you are very delicate like a cornflower. And at other times, you are wise like an iris. And more than you wish, you're a little cold, like a blue hydrangea.

What Color Flower Are You?

Ack where did the weekend go?

Well its Monday once again, and yet again I have lost the weekend - did someone take it away while I was not looking..? If so can they give it back..lol

I haven't got a lot to say about the weekend as it passed in a blur, most of it I was suffering with a horrible migraine that didn't want to go away. I think it had a lot to do with the horrendous thunderstorm that we had Saturday evening. I even had to turn the computer and cable modem off, thank gods I did - the power surges we got were unbelievable. At last count I think we were heading towards 10 in under half an hour.. I was so glad when the storm passed.

D and I had a discussion over guess what??? Yep it was none other than money..Well that's nothing new then is it. I asked him if he could possibly let me have a couple of hundred to get some new summer clothes and underwear.. You would have thought I had asked him to walk on hot coals. When he came up with his usual comment of that he hadnt got the money to lend me, stupid me told him that I had seen his bank accounts and I knew damn well he had the money squirreled away in various bank accounts. Blimey we could have paid our mortgage completely off with the amount he is squirrelling away. Anyway after a bit of a heated debate we compromised..lol. He is actually lending me the money to go clothes shopping hopefully this coming weekend. Well I did have a good arguement, besides I said that if I wasnt paying off prior debts I wouldnt be so broke, also I had lost weight and all last years summer clothes do not fit at all. Well it is all for D's benefit, if I am happy then he is happy.. Well thats my thinking anyway. Besides I am looking forward to getting some new underwear..and making him squirm by asking him in the shop if he likes the stuff or not..hehehee.

Yesterday I spent most of the afternoon on the sofa watching Celebrity Soccer on Sky One. I can't believe I am actually watching football at the moment - so far I have watched nearly every charity football game that has been on over the past month. I wonder if I am turning into a closet footy fan..lol

So that was my really exciting weekend...lol

My mood ~~~~

101 things in 1001 days.

The Mission:
Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days.

The Criteria:
Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on my part).

Why 1001 Days?
Many people have created lists in the past - frequently simple goals such as new year's resolutions. The key to beating procrastination is to set a deadline that is realistic. 1001 Days (about 2.75 years) is a better period of time than a year, because it allows you several seasons to complete the tasks, which is better for organising and timing some tasks such as overseas trips or outdoor activities

Some common goal setting tips:

1. Be decisive. Know exactly what you want, why you want it, and how you plan to achieve it.

2. Stay Focussed. Any goal requires sustained focus from beginning to end. Constantly evaluate your progress.

3. Welcome Failure. Frequently, very little is learned from a venture that did not experience failure in some form. Failure presents the opportunity to learn and makes the success more worthy.

4. Write down your goals. It clarifies your thinking and reinforces your commitment.

5. Keep your goals in sight. Review them frequently, and ensure that they are always at the forefront of your thinking.

As seen on Triplux

Well here's my list and believe me it has taken me awhile to figure out what I was going to put on this list..


General:

1. Make this list..aaaahhh
   
2. Fill in a birthday card database
   
3. Clean my car by hand, not taking it to a carwash
   
4. Clean my laptop on a regular basis - i.e. defrag, clean cookies, cache etc..
   
5. Clear all my debts and have money in the bank
   
6. Start walking my dog every day
   
7. Send out birthday cards BEFORE the actual birthdays
   
8. Make all birthday cards for my exchanges
   
9. Save all my 20p's, 10p's and 5p's for 6 months
   
10. Release some balloons for charity
    
11. Keep a record of all finances
    
12. Buy all Christmas presents before Winter Solstice (21st December)
    
13. Buy birthday presents BEFORE birthday's for family and special friends
    
14. See a show in London
    
15. Clear ironing pile, and keep ironing uptodate
    
16. Send a postcard once a week to someone different for 3 months
    
17. Send a friend flowers or a gift just because....
    
18. Read The Times newspaper every day for a month
    
19. Find a local farmers market and shop there once a month for 3 months
    
20. Feed the ducks
    
21. Go to Oxford for a day trip
    
22. Be a tourist in London for a day
    
23. Do touristy things in London
    
24. Donate or throw away 101 items in 1001 days
    
25. See "We Will Rock You" the musical with D
    
26. Go back to Paris for the day
    
27. Buy flowers every week for a month
    
    Home and Garden:
    
    
28. Go through boxes in loft and throw out what I dont want *be ruthless*
    
29. Sort out boxes in spare room and throw out what I dont want or give to charity
    
30. Paint living room
    
31. Declutter rooms in the house
    
32. Paint toilet/bathroom
    
33. Buy new bed
    
34. Buy new living room furniture
    
35. Replace kitchen units
    
36. Redo my herb garden
    
37. Weed the front garden once a week for 3 months
    
38. Weed the back garden once a week for 3 months
    
39. Paint front garden metal fence
    
40. Bake a cake every week for 3 months *this was hubby's idea as he is addicted to my banana bread*
    
41. Cook one receipe from every cookbook I own
    
42. Make a gingerbread house at Christmas
    
43. Clean windows inside and out once a month for 6 months
    
44. Grow a vegetable garden
    
45. Be self sufficient from vegetable garden for a month
    
46. Defrost both freezers
    
47. Clear out junk cupboard under the stairs
    
48. Use my icecream maker at least once a month during the summer months
    
49. Keep ontop of my "flylady" housework lists for the 1001 days
    
50. Plan menus for our evening meals and keep to this for 101 days
    
51. Make Strawberry/Rhubarb pie
    
52. Get the carpets cleaned
    
53. Make soup in the winter
    
54. Bake bread every week all winter
    
    Hobbies:
    
    
55. Sort out spare room and turn into my craft room
    
56. Cross stitch something for me
    
57. Go to stitching Get Togethers at least twice
    
58. Join a cross stitch club
    
    Me:
    
    
59. Drink 8 glasses of water a day for a week
    
60. Have a professional massage
    
61. Have Reiki or Indian Head Massage
    
62. Fly a kite
    
63. Go on a picnic
    
64. Make 1001 blog posts
    
65. Build a sandcastle
    
66. Go for a romantic nature walk
    
67. Meet a friend once a month
    
68. Learn web design - take a course
    
69. Build my webpage/blog on server space
    
70. Email a different stitching BB friend every other day for 3 months
    
71. Stop biting nails
    
72. Have a professional make over
    
73. Have hair cut and highlighted at least twice
    
74. Get up as soon as I wake up and before 9am for every day for a month
    
75. Go to sleep (not read a book) before 11.30pm every night for a month
    
76. Meet at least one online stitching friend
    
77. Overcome anxiety attacks
    
78. Buy some really sexy underwear *the full works, suspenders, thongs etc..*
    
79. Meet up with a blogging buddy
    
80. Learn to meditate
    
81. Go through all my clothes/underwear and throw away/donate all I dont wear or dont fit anymore due to being too big for me now
    
82. Have marital relations at least 3 days a week for a month
    
83. Go for a 30min walk every other day for a month *this can be included with #6*
    
84. Get new glasses
    
85. Have a professional facial
    
86. Get some new penpals and keep up with correspondence, write at least once every other week, mustn't lapse once during the 1001 days
    
87. Learn to love myself
    
88. Accept compliments
    
89. Build up my self confidence
    
90. Go to a Solstice party
    
91. Go to Witchfest 2007 in Croydon
    
92. Take a professional course in Tarot card reading
    
93. Have three Tarot/Crystal/Palm readings
    
94. Write a letter to my mum telling her how I feel and unleashing all the pain from the past 20 years. Then burn it and get on with my life.
    
95. Pick wildflowers
    
96. Renew my passport
    
97. Go to the Zoo
    
98. Have breakfast and lunch every day for 101 days
    
99. Weigh less at the end of 1001 days than I did at the beginning of 1001 days
    
100. Learn Hardanger embroidery
     
     
101. Start another 101 things to do in 1001 days when this one is nearing the end

Pansies :-)

These are on the patio, and they are looking absolutely stunning at the moment.

Pansies

Aaaah..deadlines...eeeks!!

I am a bad girl.. I have got to stitch all afternoon today and best part of the day tomorrow as I havent put together my exchange for "Melanies Exchange" on the SBEB board.. OMG someone shoot me. I dont even know how it got missed amongst my exchange pieces to do.. I really think I am going to have to put the exchange deadline dates on here in the side panel, at least that way I have no way of forgetting them or misplacing the piece. I suppose the good news is that I have finished the stitching so all I have to do is just put it together, and I have the plan of what I am going to do with it, so I suppose its not that bad when you look at it logically. Its just tomorrow is the deadline and it really has to go then, I refuse to NOT send it out on that day..lol

Still it gives me an opportunity to forget about my monthly pains..well forget them as much as I can with cramps that are killing me..lol.

A wee update..

I haven't really been upto much lately. Kind of distanced myself from various things to try and get out of my "black dog". Anyway it seems to be working, and I am pleased to say that finally I think I might be getting somewhere. It has taken a long 12 years to get this far, and will probably be another couple of years before I can finally say I have beaten it. But at least now I can see a light at the end of the tunnel.

The good news is that I only have 4 more sessions of therapy left, after a year of seeing her. Then its back to the CPN every week and seeing how I manage then.

The next stage is to get myself back out and about and in places that I dont know on my own, without having a panic attack. So that finally me and Dave can actually start living again, without the poor lamb having to worry about me if we ever went out to a strange place, or having a visit or meeting cut short cos I want to go home due to having anxiety attacks. I've also got to try and get on public transport again so that I can meet Dave in London for shows and meals out.. Well I wont be too adventureous to start, thats not for a long time down the line.

We seem to have finally got my medication sorted out so we are hoping the BiPolar is being managed now, and the depression is easing. I have finally sorted out my finances and am actually on an even keel again, although I do know that I will be without actual "spending" money for about 18 months as I am paying towards my debts, but I know I can manage them okay now. That is a bit of the battle sorted out, which was making me majorly ill. As well as various other things..

I have finally started to allow myself to grieve my nana's death and N's death, and although it is hard I am coping just.

The other thing is I have finally admitted to myself that I can do it, but I have to accept my limitations and not force myself. Babysteps as my therapist has said all the time and its finally sinking in. As I tackle or deal with one thing and that is put to bed so to speak I can allow myself to tackle something else.

Its been a very long hard struggle, and with 3 breakdowns in over 12 years I am at last seeing the light. Life is starting to look better for me than it has ever done. Although I will still get my black days but hopefully they wont be as disabiliting as they have been.

We are even thinking of giving it another go trying for a baby as I am feeling more stronger in myself. I just have to convince D to put a bit more effor into it..lol. I am going to go for more tests, examinations and fertility checks and hopefully things will work out for us this time. I am not getting any younger, and even if I did fall pregnant I would be classed as a mature mum at 38yr.. I was also told that there is a higher risk of having twins at this later stage of my years..ack!! So now we are just going to leave it up to nature and see what the goddess decides she has in store for us.

So thats where I have been, and whats happening now.. Hopefull normal service will be resumed..

Thank you to those that have been very patient with me and put up with my moaning or the depressed posts.. I can assure you it isnt normally me.. Hopefully the old me will start to shine through once more.. :-)

Damn blogrolling..

I am not amused - its down big time. Why is it that when I want to browse some blogs stupid blogrolling let me..

Oh well just means I have to do some stitching..

A quiz thingy..

Your Theme Song is Comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd

"There is no pain, you are receding. A distant ship’s smoke on the horizon. You are only coming through in waves." You haven't been feeling a lot lately, and you think that's a good thing. The comfortable part is nice... but you should really work on numb.

What's Your Theme Song?

Yep I suppose you could say this is me..plus I do like the song either when sung by Pink Floyd or Scissor Sisters..lol