Bad night - Barney
Wednesday, August 17, 2005



Bad night with her, or it wasnt for her but it was for me.. I had a restless night, kept checking on her. Then when I finally fell asleep I dreamt that she had said goodbye and was gone. It was awful when I woke up, sent DH downstairs to see if she was okay, and he couldnt find her so we were frantically searching the living room. Found her behind the video case, totally unpreterbed and obviously asleep. So I took her upstairs to the bedroom, put her on the bed where she promptly fell off the bed on a wander around it..no damage though. Cuddled her and then placed her between a couple of cushions where she is now snoozing away. She hasn't curled up or anything she is just lying stretched out, and every now and again she curls one of her paws up.

I think she ate something last night, as there was a small bit of sick by the stairs where obviously she was trying to get up the stairs and probably got herself into a panic and made herself sick. She has also eaten a bit of ham that I plonked down in front of her nose this morning. Not that she would let me see her eat, she hated anyone watching her eat..strange cat!!!

I dont think it is going to be long now, although she could surprise us all and adapt well..but the eyesight has definately gone and she is even more wobbly on her legs than yesterday but that could be the blindness. She did a kind of a purr earlie while I was cuddling her so she is trying.

DH and I have agreed that I will still go out today as planned, because we know Barney and if she is going to die, then she would want to go with dignity without fussing about us. And I know she would hate me to be at home checking her every ten minutes and carrying her upstairs with me everytime I went upstairs so I could keep an eye on her.

Strange thing is we have both said that the squirrel that has been in our garden every day since the weekend is something to do with Barney. Whether it has come to take her to the summerlands or is her sister Fred, who died years ago, come to be with her. I dont know..but what I do know is that squirrel was there again this morning when we opened the curtains.
Flying towards my dreams @6:28 am

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