Black dog is rearing its head again.. :-(
Monday, January 09, 2006
Havent bloged for a few days as unfortunately the old black dog is rearing its head once again. Not even sure why, but for some reason its now got to the point where all I want to at the moment is sleep constantly, and when I am not sleeping I am crying. Its hard to explain, I wish I could.
D has been bearing the brunt of it all, I turned nasty on him last night. All I wanted to do was throw his dinner at him, and this was all over me not wanting my dinner that he had cooked. He said he wouldnt do it again..so I said that I would do it on a Sunday, and obviously it all blew out of control and as I put earlier the dinner nearly ended up in his lap. I turned him away when he came upstairs to me to calm me down, and all I can say is I had this overwhelming urge to just scream at him and tell him that I didnt want to do anything or be anywhere. But I didnt, something stopped me.
So I am just going to take it slowly at the moment, and possibly contact my psychiatrist and see if he will increase my mood stabilisers. I seriously think they need upping again.
But I am thinking its the strain of having to reapply for my benefits again, having this damn migraine and flu symptoms for over a month with no sign of it going away.
I cant even get into my stitching - things are bad!!
Flying towards my dreams @5:44 pm