Sunday, January 29, 2006

  • Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

  • Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

  • Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

  • Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

  • Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

  • Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

  • Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

  • Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

  • Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

  • If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

  • Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

  • Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

  • Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

  • Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

  • Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

  • How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

  • Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

  • In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

  • How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

    And my FAVORITE......

  • The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then is it you?
  • Flying towards my dreams @10:00 pm

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