Cooking and such..

After a not so promising start today, I thought that maybe I wasnt going to get anything done - but I surprised myself for a change.

D came home early tonight as he had to go back to his original office for something so he caught the earlier coach. Wasnt expecting him so he caught me up to my eyes in flour..luckily I had already had my hissy fit earlier when I couldnt find the greaseproof paper..lol.

I was making a banana, apricot and sultana cake - a receipe I found in a Hugh Fearnley Whittenstall cookbook and sorting out the ingredients for my lemon cake. So as I hadnt had chance to cook dinner I opted for a chinese takeaway..mmm scrummy!!

I managed to get all the upstairs and stairs hoovered, as well as the toilet and bathroom cleaned.. And I have just taken out the lemon cake..now that is smelling gorgeous. I think I have finally figured out my fan oven..lol.

I think thats all the cakes I shall do, I am having a mini meeting tomorrow with some friends coming round for a cup of tea and a chat about anything and everything, last count there were six coming. So I think all the cake will get eaten..lol.

And finally here's a photo I took this afternoon of the snowdrops that are growing on Barney's grave..

Ugh - winter is back with a vengenance..

Weather Warning

A Metcheck weather warning has been issued for parts of the UK.


Issued
22 February : 05:35:10 PM

Valid Until
24 February : 11:00:10 PM

Area Risk
High Risk
Moderate Risk
Low Risk
No Risk


Forecasters Warning

-- Sleet & Snow--

Areas Affected: - Central & Southern England-

Outbreaks of rain, sleet and snow will push into Eastern parts of England and Scotland through Wednesday night bringing a transient spell of snow to parts of Scotland and Northern England, especially above 200m. Into Thursday the precipitation will continue to push Southwards bringing a further transient spell of snow on its forward edge. However across Central and Southern parts of England and Wales the snow may well remain as snow for a longer period of time than further North, especially above 200m to 250m. As a result higher parts of Devon, Wales and Southeast England could see accumulations of snow by the end of Thursday.

As the low pressure system clears away overnight on Thursday and into Friday it re-introduces colder air again from the East. As a result any precipitation that remains during the course of Friday will fall as snow across most parts of England and Wales even down to relatively low levels (100m to 150m). There still remains some uncertainty over just how much snow will fall and when any rain turns back to snow later in the day on Thursday and into Friday. Winds will be moderate to strong from the East, especially on Friday bringing about a significant wind chill factor.

Driving conditions will be hazardous from time to time, especially across higher routes throughout England and Wales. This weather watch will be updated or upgraded during Thursday.

FORECASTER: HUGO
---END---

Can someone tell me why I wanted to move to the South East..lol

How sad is this.? It involves a bin and Asda..

I cannot believe I went out yesterday while cooking dinner and brought a new stainless steel kitchen bin.. Ok yeah maybe I can believe it..lol

D had just come in from work and I was just chattering away to him, while cooking dinner. I dont even know what got me thinking about it, as all of a sudden I told him to keep an eye on the dinner and that I would be back in 20 mins. So off I scoot to Asda, which is 5 mins drive away - and buy a 30 litre stainless steel bin!! It wouldnt have been so bad but I had already been to Asda previously during the day to pick up some bits and bobs. :-)

So home I came with my purchase, got rid of the old bin in the kitchen and now my nice shiny bin has pride of place :-) And no I am not that sad as to take a photo of it, although I cant say I wasnt tempted..heheheehe.

I think poor D is now dreading coming home from work as he doesnt know if I am going to go off and buy something odd or not now..lol

Johari window..

Ok I have seen this on several blogs, so I am playing..lol

Here's my Johari window - please be gentle with me. :-)

My stitchathon piece

Here is my piece as of 20 Feb. I managed to stitch 4 hours over the 3 day period.

Little bro and big sis..

A couple of photo's taken yesterday of Ollie and Smudge(you wouldnt believe she is 15y) :-)





"oooh who's there?"








"Ok, what do I do with this?"

Grr @ my blog..

Hmmm..ok dont know what happened, or where it went to, but I lost all my archives - they disappeared into cyberspace somewhere gods knows where. All I can say is thank gods I had backed up my blog onto notepad. I have never been so glad I am rather anal about backing things up..lol

So archives dutifully repaired, and blog is back to normal now.

*sigh of relief being breathed now*

Wow - even he can surprise me..

Yep my dh..D. Bless him.

This evening when he got home from work, while we were pottering about in the kitchen we were talking about my car tax, which is due at the end of the month. Me being me just about has the right amount available in my bank account after I have paid all my debts etc. for the month. Anyway I dont know how we got around to this subject, maybe because he was asking if I had transferred the monthly money that I owe him, over to his account. I think I said something along the lines of that I hadnt done it yet, was just waiting for a couple of cheques to clear then would do it the same time as I would get my car tax. Well next thing I know he has disappeared upstairs like a bat out of hell.. Strange man!!

Now this is the surprise, he came down and said he would pay for a years car tax on my car.. Thud!! Yep that was me, once I had picked myself off the floor and closed my jaw..You see D rarely offers to pay for something, let alone a whole years worth of car tax, which incidently is £165.00 this year..ugh!! My first year paying this amount, considering the last years tax was with my little renault and was considerably cheaper being a smaller car. Anyway I digress, this is most unlike D, you normally have to plant a seed in his head and hope that he gets the idea eventually when it comes to spending money..lol.

So now I am able to pay a whole year instead of the 6 months I was going to pay.. which also means the money I had earmarked for this is now all mine. Ok maybe not all mine, have to put petrol in the car, pay the credit card company who are baying for my blood a token payment..even if its just to shut them up for another month..lol. Then I have whats left..lol. Which is a miracle in itself, I normally exist on thin air during the months - oooh now what do I do with money..lol.

So for the moment D is my favourite person, and has surprised me totally. I suppose its these little things that I do love him for, just wish he would do it more often...

Aaaahhh!!!

Sorry a bit over dramatic..but I had to do it. I just needed to get it off my chest.. :-)

Dont worry everyone, I am okay and things are fine honest, its just something I am extremely pissed off with now, and I cant see it being changed anytime in the future - well not unless you shoot the Postal System..

So now I am going to go and beat the c*** out of the ironing.. :-)

Stitch-a-thon

Here is my piece that I am going to be doing for the stitchathon on the Friends Gather BB. I have decided to do Christine Martin's Heart Sampler which was a stitchalong on the AION board a few months ago, but unfortunately I didn't get very far with it. So I have decided to do this each month hopefully :-)

Two new pictures of my favourite boys - Scruffy(Bear) on his bed, and Ollie being the poser that he is..lol

I wish I was 5..

Then I could stamp my foot and say "I dont want to..."

I am still feeling like something the cat dragged in, this cold really doesnt want to give up residency. I could cope if it was a runny nose and just general off colour but no, this is sitting on my chest and I can actually feel all the gunk that is down there. I have an awful taste in my mouth, and nothing tastes like it should at the moment..ugh!!

And to top it all I have a therapy session shortly and I really dont want to go. I want to curl up on the sofa under the duvet drinking Horlicks all afternoon..but no. Not looking forward to that one little jot. Especially as I know I shall probably be in tears most of the time..

Now if I was 5 again I could stamp my foot and say "I don't want to go...."

Bleugh!!!

Thats how I feel..lol. Its 7.15am and I have been tossing and turning all night. Everytime I drop off to sleep I wake up cos I cant breathe..grrr. Anyone want a cold!??? You would think my body would have had enough wouldnt you, what with just finally shaking the flu off the other week, nope - now I go and get a blooming cold. D reakons its cos my body is totally run down and I have been fretting over the recent events, so I suppose he could be right. So I am dosing myself up every 4 hours with cold and flu medicine and seeing how that goes.

Aaah the joys of the wireless finally being set up..hehehe. I can actually bring the laptop to bed, without having to trail the cable modem and wires with me. All I have to do is just bring the laptop and the mouse and thats it..aah bliss :-)

Edited to add I didnt stitch for Andrea..doh!! I stitched for Heather in Canada on the AION board..doh!! Think I was having a "blonde" moment when I posted what I had stitched for the valentine exchange..

Valentines day..and all things mushy..

First of all I want to wish everyone that I know and love the following:

*Happy Valentines Day*

Right now thats out the way..lol. Onto my valentines exchange that I sent Andrea in Canada for the Aion stitching board. I am hoping that it has arrived now, hence the post. This is what I stitched for her - its a pattern from Better Homes and Gardens, and I stitched it in Salmon Leap dragon floss, a paler pink in Six Sweet Strands Thread and a green in Dragon Floss. I decided to make it into a little hanging ornamanet - so I backed it in white cotton fabric, with some lovely pink/cream fabric that a friend had given me for the borders. I then put two little heart charms where the cord hanger is stitched. I had also sent various stitchy bits and gifts.

Thank you to everyone..

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone that has posted with regards to the death of Nana , and to my odd feelings recently. I do apreciate everything that you have all put, thank you for the comments.

*Love and Hugs*

R.A.K. Week

Just watching This Morning on t.v. and guess what? They announced its RAK week. For anyone that doesnt know what RAK stands for its Random Acts of Kindness. I couldnt believe it when I heard this. And here was me thinking it was just a stitching thing. Its amazing what sort of things that you just assume are to do with stitching, are actually everyday things..lol.

Afraid I cant send out any RAK's today cos if I did, I wouldnt be able to finish them in the day, I have so many people I would want to send a RAK to, so for all my friends in blogger land and the stitching community, and those that actually know me..

*HAPPY RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS WEEK*

Hmm - to be noticed or not to be noticed..

Strange title I know but it kind of sums it up a lot.

This is really a piggyback on a comment I made to Tammy's blog (I think) about would I actually be missed on or across the BB's if I wasnt around. I felt that I was insignificant enough that nobody would actually notice I had gone or not posted for a while.

Well guess what? This has actually happened on a board I used to go to. I have just been browsing the board catching up on what I had missed, and no-body even noticed I hadnt been around since after CHristmas. It wasnt that I didnt want to post on the board, it was just the way someone asked me to reconsider my membership..dont ask!! I mean even when I am not online over a period of time like Christmas, I cant do good for doing wrong.. So anyway back to the board.. There arent any posts referring to me,especially as I was organising an exhange or not as the case is now, or wondering why I havent been on the board etc.. Now this goes to prove my theory that maybe I have really made an impact on people..NOT! Am I really that quiet and unassuming that if anything happened to me nobody would actually notice that "Nat" wasnt around. Well apart from my DH of course.

I cant even begin to explain how this makes me feel at the moment. Yeah I know its a pity me post, but it kind of struck me very hard.

The other strange thing is "so called friends" from this board, and possibly another - knew about my Nana's death yet it is only a handful of people that actually offered condolences. Yes I know its probably selfish, but when I get condolences from people who arent in my country it hits me that my UK friends dont seem to give a shit. Oh dont get me wrong, I am so thankful for those that did post the comments, it did touch me. But then I suppose after reading a few things in various places I got to thinking. And then after finding out this very unnerving fact on the other board - yes it did unnerve me.

Yep you can tell I have very low self esteem..and dont exactly think a lot of myself at the moment. But that is something that is being worked on with therapy etc..Maybe its all the years of being broken as a child/teenager/young adult and being a constant doormat/mug all my life, they have taken their toll on me. You know when you are constantly told you are worthless and nobody cares about you - well maybe it starts to rub off on you. Hence my low self esteem etc..

There is someone else who wouldnt even care if I was around or not - my mother. The one that has constantly made me feel worthless, and broke me as a child. My mother hadnt heard from me since April of last year - yet she didnt consider to ring up either me or Dave to see if anything was up. I mean for all she knew I could have been in hospital with another breakdown or something. But no she didnt take the time to find out. Now I expect those of you are probably wondering why I didnt do the same with my mother - well basically if you had a mother like mine who didnt give a damn about whether you was alive or dead I dont think you would be bothered to care about her. As I said she broke me as a child, and destroyed all confidence I had with the mental abuse from an early age and then the rape at 15. And to decide to stand by my rapist when he came out of jail, instead of her own child - her own flesh and blood that had been destroyed. Had had her childhood cruelly snatched away from her by the one person she thought she could trust in the world. Well thats why I never contacted my mother, and I didnt tell her I wasnt contacting her I was letting her figure it out. And yes if she had rung to see how I was maybe it would have shown me that she had changed..it would have actually made me feel as though someone had wanted me for me. You know if you are told enough times that nobody really cares about you, that you are worthless and it wouldnt be a terrible thing if you hadnt been born or was around, after a while you start to believe it yourself, and when it is told to you when you are young and impressionable then it is ten times as worse, and you go along your life thinking like that nearly all the time. It is hard to stop thinking that, even when you try and get through those barriers. And then when you think "yes I've done it, I've beaten everything" something hits you when you are down and you start thinking that maybe people are right.

Wow who would have thought that two deaths, of very dear loved ones, in the space of two days, and one death of a fellow blogger, would bring all this on. I certainly didnt, but there you go. It did.


I have one thing to say - Nana why did you have to die - why did you leave me with her!!!!!

People come into your life for a reason..

I am posting this because reading this is somehow putting a few things into perspective with regards to the loss of my Nana, and to a blogging aquaintance Laura.. all of whom were taken suddenly and so cruely from this world this weekend.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need
you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But...only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway); and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.


I am still not really feeling up to blogging much at the moment, maybe I am still in limbo I dont know. And I also feel that I cant move forward until the funeral days have passed for Nana. At the moment I am still awaiting for when these will be. I wont be able to go to my Nana's.

Thats it for now..

Sad news

I have just found out that a good stitching blogger has died suddenly.. Rest In Peace Laura

Thank you everyone..

Just wanted to say a huge thank you to everyone that has left comments regarding my nana post. Thank you so much, you dont know how much each and everyone of them mean to me at this time.

Today is a bit easier, I am just throwing myself into doing stuff so that I dont have to sit and think too much. Although I did catch myself thinking earlier that I was the only grandchild that hadnt given her a great grandchild. Didnt help that I am the oldest of all the grandchildren.. :-(

Anyway thank you everyone once again..

Nana - I love you..

Just taken the most awful phone call from my mother to tell me that my nana in scotland passed away this morning.
It has hit me very hard, I am absolutely heartbroken, especially as my mother said I was shedding crocodile tears, and that I didnt care about my nana. Thats not true, I last talked to my nana back in April, but she was ill, and I couldnt handle it. She wasnt the nana I knew and loved, that is why I backed away. My nana knew I loved her dearly, and I hope understood.

But I never got to say goodbye to her, and I cannot handle it. The pain is so great, I wish I could've told her I loved her, and had the chance to say goodbye.

Nana was the only one that stood by me when everything kicked off with the abuse when I was a teenager between mum and me. She was so supportive. I loved her for it. Now she is gone, and it is just mum and me now. And I am in hardly any contact with my mother because I need to deal with stuff first, and get over the trauma of everything and get the therapy sorted first.

Nana I love you - may you rest in peace whereever you are.

Wow - can't believe it...

A couple of years ago in December 2003 I had a car crash on the Cheshire Oaks roundabout in Chester, and although it was clearly not my fault the man that had driven into my path was not at all nice and was determined that I was going to pay for denting his car especially as he used the fact that he had his young son in the car too. Although the police were called out they decided not to do anything as they thought it was 50/50. And so did my insurance company when I put the claim in, and also I hadnt actually claimed for any damage to my car. I mean one more dent on the little red renault I had at the time, didnt really show..lol.

So I kind of forgot about it anyway as the insurance company wrote to me back then and said it was 50/50.

Well talk about a shock this morning, I opened a letter from a solicitor who is acting on behalf of my insurance company as was then, and they have sued the driver of the other car for financial losses to me, and I have a cheque coming to me as they had to go to court because he was refusing to accept responsibility. It turned out he was one of these serial accident people that preyed on cars and submitted false claims, rather like ambulance chasers.

The court apparently found him guilty and have ordered a cheque to be paid to me immediately. I have no idea how much it is, but I was totally blown over considering I had forgotten about it and never even put a claim in for anything.

Funny thing is I had a tarot card reading done back in 2003 in Chester, and one of the things that came up was that I would be involved in a lengthy court case and would eventually win. I thought nothing of it, till today.. Wendy was right. :-) Especially as she had been right on other things that have happened.

I just cant believe it..lol

Life is a bowl of cherries.. isnt it?

Well the past few days have been different. One minute I am up and happy the next minute I am down again. Oh well just another cycle in Nat's life..lol.

And why when you are wide awake at 1.30am there is absolutely nothing to watch on t.v. Well nothing that will send you to sleep anyway..lol. This is the second night I havent had any sleep. I am now going for 48 hours with no sleep, and then only catnaps for half an hour or so in between..grr. Maybe tomorrow night my body will give in to exhaustion..I can only keep my fingers crossed. :-)

Had to go for another asthma check up at the clinic today, and it was shite!! I didnt get to see my normal nurse, I saw the other nurse that is at the clinic. It was horrible. She was saying that my asthma wasnt asthma at all, as I didnt present the normal symptoms of someone with asthma. She thought it was stress related..doh! I could have told her that. Anyway she then went onto say that once we get my emotional well being sorted out then the asthma type symptoms would disappear. Oh I wish.. But what does a person with asthma display - are they supposed to not breathe all the time or what? Blimey if thats the case then next time D goes for his asthma review then he will be told its all emotional as he doesnt show the classic signs of asthma.

You know why do we go to a Dr for diagnosis, and not a nurse? Surely the dr knows what we have, and how to deal with it. I mean how does a nurse know that by getting me into the "real world" as she calls it then I will be heaps better and all my problems (depression and bipolar) will go away.. And what is the "real world" can someone show me the door to it please, as I seem to have taken a wrong turning somewhere..lol.

I came home feeling like absolute shite, and was straight on the phone to D. I was feeling really perky before I went to see the nurse, afterwards I felt really ugh!! My emotions were flying around everywhere, I was having trouble calming down. One minute I was angry, the next I was crying.. grr!! It was horrible.

Anyway upon reflection during the day, and D being ever so practical, as he normally is.. I am going to take no notice of the nurse with regards to my mental/emotional wellbeing - the main people in my case are Wendy, the Dr and my psychiatrist. And they basically say that I am just to keep plodding on, taking things gradually rather than pushing myself too far.


Hey one good thing, all this non sleep - I am actually stitching while awake. I have been quite a busy little bee. Although I cant tell anyone what it is, as its a surprise at the moment. Dont you just hate that, you are bursting to tell people what you are stitching and you cant..lol. Still all will be revealed in a month or so.. :-)

Oh well off to make another cup of tea..

Another day of no sleep and I am bored..

Don't say I didnt warn you..lol

Your Love Element Is Water

In love, you connect deeply and commit totally. For you, love is all about taking risks and moving into unknown territory. You attract others with courage and confidence. Your flirting style is defined by your flexibility and ability to adapt. Nurturing and shared learning are the cornerstones of your love life. And while you may jump in to love too quickly, you always come out the wiser for it. You connect best with: Metal Avoid: Earth You And another Water element: will pull each other down into a dark place

What Element Is Your Love?

You Are a Newborn Soul

You are tolerant, accepting, and willing to give anyone a chance. On the flip side, you're easy to read and easily influenced by others. You have a fresh perspective on life, and you can be very creative. Noconformist and nontraditional, you've never met anyone who's like you. Inventive and artistic, you like to be a trendsetter. You have an upbeat spirit and you like almost everything. You make friends easily and often have long standing friendships. Implusive and trusting, you fall in love a little too easily. Souls you are most compatible with: Bright Star Soul and Dreaming Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

Your Love Life Secrets Are

Looking back on your life, you will only have one true love. Although you may have been hurt before, you tend to bring very little scars into new relationships. You prefer a quirky, unique person to be your lover. You're easy going about who you're with, as long as they love you back. In fights, you are able to walk away and calm down. You are able to weather the storm. You have a hard time ending relationships, even if the other person says it's over.

Your Love Life Secrets, Revealed

What Your Face Says

At first glance, people see you as warm and well-balanced. Overall, your true self is passive and thoughtful. With friends, you seem dramatic, lively, and quick to react. In love, you seem mysterious and interesting. In stressful situations, you seem sad and helpless.

What Do People Think Of Your Face?

You Should Be A Cancer

What's good about you: you're incredibly kind, caring, and generous What's bad about you: you can be too moody and impossible to understand In love: you enjoy wining and dining the object of your affection In friendship, you're: likely to depend on other friends for emotional support Your ideal job: historian, marine biologist, or religious figure Your sense of fashion: you dress to match your mood You like to pig out on: classic home cooked meals, like mac and cheese

What Sign Should You Be?

You Are Winter!

Intelligent Serious Cozy Calm Shy

What Season Are You?