Nana - I love you..
Friday, February 03, 2006
Just taken the most awful phone call from my mother to tell me that my nana in scotland passed away this morning.
It has hit me very hard, I am absolutely heartbroken, especially as my mother said I was shedding crocodile tears, and that I didnt care about my nana. Thats not true, I last talked to my nana back in April, but she was ill, and I couldnt handle it. She wasnt the nana I knew and loved, that is why I backed away. My nana knew I loved her dearly, and I hope understood.
But I never got to say goodbye to her, and I cannot handle it. The pain is so great, I wish I could've told her I loved her, and had the chance to say goodbye.
Nana was the only one that stood by me when everything kicked off with the abuse when I was a teenager between mum and me. She was so supportive. I loved her for it. Now she is gone, and it is just mum and me now. And I am in hardly any contact with my mother because I need to deal with stuff first, and get over the trauma of everything and get the therapy sorted first.
Nana I love you - may you rest in peace whereever you are.
Flying towards my dreams @5:38 pm