Nana - I love you..

Just taken the most awful phone call from my mother to tell me that my nana in scotland passed away this morning.
It has hit me very hard, I am absolutely heartbroken, especially as my mother said I was shedding crocodile tears, and that I didnt care about my nana. Thats not true, I last talked to my nana back in April, but she was ill, and I couldnt handle it. She wasnt the nana I knew and loved, that is why I backed away. My nana knew I loved her dearly, and I hope understood.

But I never got to say goodbye to her, and I cannot handle it. The pain is so great, I wish I could've told her I loved her, and had the chance to say goodbye.

Nana was the only one that stood by me when everything kicked off with the abuse when I was a teenager between mum and me. She was so supportive. I loved her for it. Now she is gone, and it is just mum and me now. And I am in hardly any contact with my mother because I need to deal with stuff first, and get over the trauma of everything and get the therapy sorted first.

Nana I love you - may you rest in peace whereever you are.