Life is a bowl of cherries.. isnt it?
Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Well the past few days have been different. One minute I am up and happy the next minute I am down again. Oh well just another cycle in Nat's life..lol.

And why when you are wide awake at 1.30am there is absolutely nothing to watch on t.v. Well nothing that will send you to sleep anyway..lol. This is the second night I havent had any sleep. I am now going for 48 hours with no sleep, and then only catnaps for half an hour or so in between..grr. Maybe tomorrow night my body will give in to exhaustion..I can only keep my fingers crossed. :-)

Had to go for another asthma check up at the clinic today, and it was shite!! I didnt get to see my normal nurse, I saw the other nurse that is at the clinic. It was horrible. She was saying that my asthma wasnt asthma at all, as I didnt present the normal symptoms of someone with asthma. She thought it was stress related..doh! I could have told her that. Anyway she then went onto say that once we get my emotional well being sorted out then the asthma type symptoms would disappear. Oh I wish.. But what does a person with asthma display - are they supposed to not breathe all the time or what? Blimey if thats the case then next time D goes for his asthma review then he will be told its all emotional as he doesnt show the classic signs of asthma.

You know why do we go to a Dr for diagnosis, and not a nurse? Surely the dr knows what we have, and how to deal with it. I mean how does a nurse know that by getting me into the "real world" as she calls it then I will be heaps better and all my problems (depression and bipolar) will go away.. And what is the "real world" can someone show me the door to it please, as I seem to have taken a wrong turning somewhere..lol.

I came home feeling like absolute shite, and was straight on the phone to D. I was feeling really perky before I went to see the nurse, afterwards I felt really ugh!! My emotions were flying around everywhere, I was having trouble calming down. One minute I was angry, the next I was crying.. grr!! It was horrible.

Anyway upon reflection during the day, and D being ever so practical, as he normally is.. I am going to take no notice of the nurse with regards to my mental/emotional wellbeing - the main people in my case are Wendy, the Dr and my psychiatrist. And they basically say that I am just to keep plodding on, taking things gradually rather than pushing myself too far.


Hey one good thing, all this non sleep - I am actually stitching while awake. I have been quite a busy little bee. Although I cant tell anyone what it is, as its a surprise at the moment. Dont you just hate that, you are bursting to tell people what you are stitching and you cant..lol. Still all will be revealed in a month or so.. :-)

Oh well off to make another cup of tea..
Flying towards my dreams @1:54 am

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