Roll on next week..

I really cannot wait till Monday of next week. No I am not wishing this weekend away, although I am not looking forward to going to the inlaws, but I am looking forward to the craft day at some friends tomorrow - which is the main reason we are going to the inlaws. They are in Sussex and my friends' are just up the road so we can stay overnight at the inlaws instead of driving 2 hours home again the same day.

No the reason I cannot wait till Monday is that finally M will be back from Sweden. I have had no contact with M since 6 March and I have missed him. I miss being able to pick up the phone when I have been down and just talk to him. I have even missed my early morning phonecalls, even though I used to curse him when the phone rang at 7.30am and I was still asleep..lol

No Monday will be a good day because M will be back at work and yes I will get one of those early morning phone calls..lol. You dont realise how much you miss someone till you have had enforced no contact with them, I have certainly realised how much I miss him. Although I might not be saying that when I am being bored to tears of tales in Sweden and work..

A bit of a moany post..bear with me..

I don't normally do these kind of posts but this one has kind of got be a bit riled up.. Although to someone else it will seem a minor thing, but well when you know what it is then maybe some of you will be able to understand..

On a couple of boards I visit they allow the use of tickers in signatures. Now these in themselves are not too bad, okay some people do go a bit overboard but you can normally ignore them to a certain degree. Well some tickers are a little bit too insensitive I feel.. They are certain pregnancy tickers.. Yep I can hear you know saying what on earth do I have against pregancy tickers? Well I dont normally, but this type of ticker is really hurting me like hell.. This ticker is rather graphic and it shows every stage of the foetus' growth from conception to birth. Actually I will admit I find it a bit freaky really..but everyone to their own thoughts.

Now the reason I am hurting with this ticker, well I think that it is kind of rubbing salt into the wound that I am having troubles having a baby of my own..and it is especially raw at the moment with the problems I had over a week ago.. I also think that the people that have these graphic tickers are being a little bit insensitve to other peoples feelings. Now dont get me wrong I dont mind the ordinary type of pregnancy ticker, but quite frankly I dont want it rammed down my throat what the baby is looking like in the womb at specific stages.

There is also a bit of trouble with this ticker, as one person who has been told it is offending some people on this board, she is being particularly insensitive to others feelings. She just doesnt seem to understand that this is not a personal attack on her, but on the type of ticker and if she could possibly spare some feelings for how people like myself. But no she is turning it around so that it looks like a personal vendetta saying that no-one has mentioned to her that they find this ticker offensive.. Well I doubt it, they would report it to the site administrators so they can act upon it. Its also being turned into a bit of a battle as others have said they dont find it offensive..well maybe they haven't had difficulties with conceiving or miscarriages..etc.

Everytime I see one of these tickers on a post I physically hurt inside, the pain is so raw. And even the pain you have managed to deal with is brought to the surface - dont know why these tickers make this happen and not the ordinary tickers like the one at the top of my blog..

And just as I was starting to feel reasonably okay and was dealing with the my body letting me down - this bloody happens.

Oh well c'est le vie as they say.. I'll just go and hibernate as normal, and go and marry my duvet again

I am so tired..

I don't know what is wrong with me at the moment, I am so tired. I know I have had a couple of nights where I havent slept at all, but I have slept during the day to catch up..but I did sleep last night for 10 hours. I have been up for 4 hours and I am now so tired I could just fall asleep here at the lappy..

I think I am going to head off to bed for a catnap, hopefully that will make me feel better.. although that is once I have stopped raiding the fridge for the Haslet in there - I can't get enough of it at the moment..lol. And for my american readers Haslet is a meat product that comes in slices, rather like ham. Here is a link which describes it better - haslet

On another note I had notification that my appointment that I went to a fortnight ago was successful, so that is a worry off my mind now till 18mths time.

Update on house arrest..

They've caught the guy with the gun, he was the lad that lives 100yds down the road at no 48, on the main road. Apparently, D says they are always raiding this bungalow and when he found out he said it wasn't exactly a surprise to hear it was this place.

The police are still there, but the bungalow now has no front door - it has been bashed in.

I do feel sorry for the neighbours either side, on one side there is an old guy and on t'other side they have the owner of the plant hire shop.. I bet they didnt realise what was moving in when that group moved into the bungalow.

You know it is supposed to be such a quite little village now, its amazing what happens.. I am sure the police must have a permanent parking permit for the main road outside my close..lol.

House Arrest..

This is what we woke up to this morning, half an hour ago, pictures taken hanging outside my bedroom window. The police are actually at the end of the road.







We are supposedly under "house arrest" as they have shut the road off starting from our little close to the junction of the next turning along the main road. There is apparently a man with a gun nearby, either in one of the houses or hiding in the alley at the back of us.

Wow what a thing to wake up to on a sleepy sunday morning, in our very quiet little village.

A meme of sorts..

Saw this, thought it was different - and shamelessly stole it from Christine's blog:

Make a search with your birth year from Google and choose one picture you like. Share it with us.

The year I was born:



And this was the day I was born:



Your turn :-)

Grrr.. Stupid blog..

Ok I give up.. this blog is not having anymore tweaks. I have spent nearly all morning trying to get it to look right in Internet Explorer, but I just cant. So I am sticking to how it looks in Firefox..and if people on IE dont like it..well sorry guys I just cant get the same browsers to look the same. Its mainly the sidebar that looks a bit iffy, but I am sure that is liveable with..

Anyway I now have to get ready as I have the dreaded Psychiatrist appointment shortly, and I am not looking forward to it. Mainly cos I can't stand my psychiatrist. He's a bumbling idiot, well thats my opionion of him, it also seems to be D's opinion too. D's last words before he left for work were "Wonder if Dr M has lost your blood work like last time.." Not funny D.

Still no news on the DLA front - had a letter from them this morning apologising for not getting to my claim like they promised they would, so it looks like it is still in limbo. Still at least they did write to tell me what was going on which has to be a first..lol.

So its a quick shower for me then drive to the hospital and hopefully not have to drive round and round the carpark a few times before I find a parking place..lol.

Ok final post for me today - a couple of pictures

This is going to be my final post today, seeing as I have done a fair bit of blogging today

I received my SBEB Stitching Lottery piece a couple of days ago, and I absolutely adore it. Becky made this lovely needlebook case, and as normal her finishing is exceptional. Thank you so much Becky I love it.





And here's a couple of Ollie, being Ollie..




And now I am going to take my cup of tea and read in bed.

Not a happy bunny..

Well after this delightful Budget today, and me thinking I was going to not pay any car tax for my car D kindly pointed out, he did it nicely so I didnt kill him I hasten to add..that I had got it all wrong re the car tax. Nope I am now £30.00 worse off. Its not fair, I am now in the same category emission wise as a flippy land rover, BMW5 and Mazda MX5 - shoot I only have a little 1.4 3 door Lanos, its not even got any suped up thingys on it. So why do I feel like someone has let the air out of my balloon

I've also found out that when I put the washing on earlier I failed to use the soap powder tablets.. I distinctly remember asking D to pass the soap powder tablets to me yesterday, and I know I put fabric conditioner in..so looks like stupid me did the washing with just fabric conditioner. So guess who's doing the washing again..yep me!!

Onto nicer things.. FaithAnn I took your advice and told D about my little pickle with my money, and you was right - he did surprise me. He took it really well and didnt even hit the roof, just told me that I couldnt buy anything for the next two months, which is fair I think.

So at least I can rest easy on that front I suppose.. Now I just wish it was that easy to tackle everything like this..lol

Breaking news..yeah I know boring..lol

Ooooh I have just had a free bar of Green and Black's milk chocolate delivered through my letter box, and all I did was fill in a survey and leave it outside my front door.

Well the budget is over, and the only benefit that it looks like D and myself are getting is we wont have to pay car tax on our cars, as though are both "low" emmissions.. Darn now why didnt they decide this before I bought my yearly car tax in February..grrr Wonder if I can get a refund when the new law comes into force..

Frankly my dear I don't give a damn..

Having a Gone With The Wind moment..lol

Well yesterday evening turned into a non starter. I didn't tell D about my finances I am building myself up to it.. Oh gee that sounds so bad doesn't it, the fact I have to build myself up to tell my hubby something that I know he wont be too happy with..eeks!! I shall probably tell him on Friday evening, he's out all day Saturday so he can't have a go at me then..lol. See there's a method in my madness I think

Didn't get to bed till gone 1am last night, I was having too much of a blast uploading smilies to my online album. I didn't realise I had that many, at one point I even exceeded the amount for a sub album so had to make a new one. Still I think I have a smilie for every occasion now, and if I don't TOUGH!!!

Wow am just watching This Morning on t.v. and they are doing a piece on Alex Kingston, and I just found out that she used to be in Grange Hill - wow never realised that. So she has gone from a kid in a well established childrens show to a well respected actress in ER. I shall always remember her as Moll Flanders..she was good in that part..lol

Ok enough of my rambling off topic..

Today is Budget day here in the UK, and it will be interesting to see what the Chancellor decides to cut or not cut.. Although I doubt D and I will be any better of or any worse off, for some reason the budget never really affects us. And it looks like it might Gordon Brown's last budget as Chancellor, although he might be Prime Minister next time, well that is what all the bods on the news channels are saying. We shall see..

And on that note, as the Budget really does not hold my interest, I am off to do some boring household things..

Feeling like I don't know what....

Well after spending all day sorting out my blog, I've neglected the housework, which includes the washing up and sorting dinner out..

Now D is due home in about half an hour so that gives me time to scoot around and at least do the washing up, but dinner I am not sure about.

I've also been looking at my finances and it seems I have got myself into a bit of a hole again. I've overspent money that I don't even have..oh cripes!! Now I have to ask D if he will bail me out again, and believe me I am not looking forward to it at all. I have a feeling he is going to hit the roof big time. Oh well its my fault I know, so no excuse really.

Now because I am worrying over this I have had a tight feeling in my chest all day which I can't get rid of - I woke up with it and after taking painkillers during the day its still there. I know its stress related and I have to face up to the my feelings but I don't want to.

You know its got so bad at the moment with the big black dog, I haven't picked up my stitching for nearly a week now. I think I am going to have at least look at it and do the bits that need doing a.s.a.p.

Oh well off to bury myself in the freezer ... *translated to mean find something for dinner*

Phew finally..

I've got this blog how I like it..and I've even put an icon in the address bar.. I won't tell you how long it took me, I have literally been doing this all day, and only just managed to get into my own webspace. I wouldn't have thought losing passwords would be that hard to retrieve. ACK never again.

Still at least it is all nice and centred on the screen, and I dont have a huge white screen down the side like yesterday. I think I shall leave it like this for at least a while..I can't go through the hassle again just yet. Maybe later in the year I will host it on my own webspace but till then it is staying here on Blogger.

Monday Madness..

Lets play fill in the blanks from "Monday Madness"

1. When driving in my car, my radio station is usually tuned to Radio 2
2. When I turn my television on, even if I'm not really paying close attention to it, it's usually on channel BBC1, ITV1 and 2, or Hallmark.
3. If I owned a pet, I would own a dog and cat, because I already have a dog and two cats.
4. I own a HP printer. I bought it because my one had given up the ghost and I desperately needed a new one...
5. You can find all kinds of books in my bookshelves, but mostly this type: fantasy and chicklit.
6. I take about 10 pictures every month.
7. I blog about 21 times a month.
8. I've been really busy cross stitching lately.

Ack its the next day already..

I really should be in bed, but I have been playing around with my blog this evening and I wasnt going to settle until I had it just right. , but it seems to be okay so I am happy now..

And now I am going to go and get some sleep as my back is absolutely killing me - the darn painkillers dont want to work tonight, so I can see its going to be an interesting night of sleep - not

I think tomorrow I shall give the Dr a ring and see if there is anything else that I can do to try and alleviate the pain. I dont think sitting nearly all afternoon on a hard chair, at Bluewater helped much. But I did enjoy the flymeet very much, and it was lovely to actually be driven there by Sarah. I only got panicky a couple of time but that was when we were walking back to Marks & Spensers to the car, but I think it was because everyone kept getting in my way. But at least I actually went and went in someone else's car as a passenger which is something I avoid doing normally - so Wendy will be pleased with me when I tell her at our next session.

So as its nearly 12.30am I am going to go...

A Mother's Poem

I came across this poem, and wanted to share it with everyone. Even though I am not in contact with my mother, this is dedicated to the one person who was more like a mom to me than my own - Jean may you forever look down on me and be proud of me.

The Journey Of A Mother

For those who are fortunate enough to still be blessed by having your Mom with you, this is beautiful...For those who aren't... it is even more beautiful.

The young mother set her foot on the path of life. "Is this the long way?" she asked. And the guide said "Yes, and the way is hard. And you will be old before you reach the end of it. But the end will be better than the beginning." But the young mother was happy, and she would not believe that anything could be better than these years.

So she played with her children, she fed them and bathed them, and taught them how to tie their shoes and ride a bike and reminded them to feed the dog, and do their homework and brush their teeth. The sun shone on them, and the young Mother cried, "Nothing will ever be lovelier than this." Then the nights came, and the storms, and the path was sometimes dark, and the children shook with fear and cold, and the mother drew them close and covered them with her arms, and the children said, "Mother, we are not afraid, for you are near, and no harm can come."

And the morning came, and there was a hill ahead, and the children climbed and grew weary, and the mother was weary. But at all times she said to the children, "A little patience and we are there." So the children climbed, and as they climbed they learned to weather the storms. And with this, she gave them strength to face the world. Year after year, she showed them compassion, understanding, hope, but most of all...unconditional love. And when they reached the top they said, "Mother, we would not have done it without you." The days went on, and the weeks and the months and the years, and the mother grew old and she became little and bent.

But her children were tall and strong, and walked with courage. And the other, when she lay down at night, looked up at the stars and said, "This is a better day than the last, for my children have learned so much and are now passing these traits on to their children". And when the way became rough for her, they lifted her, and gave her their strength, just as she had given them hers. One day they came to a hill, and beyond the hill, they could see a shining road and golden gates flung wide. And mother said: "I have reached the end of my journey. And now I know the end is better than the beginning, for my children can walk with dignity and pride, with their heads held high, and so can their children after them. And the children said, "You will always walk with us, Mother, even when you have gone through the gates."

And they stood and watched her as she went on alone, and the gates closed after her. And they said: "We cannot see her, but she is with us still. A Mother like ours is more than a memory. She is a living presence." Your Mother is always with you. She's the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street, she's the smell of certain foods you remember, flowers you pick and perfume that she wore, she's the cool hand on your brow when you're not feeling well, she's your breath in the air on a cold winter's day. She is the sound of the rain that lulls you to sleep, the colors of a rainbow, she is Christmas morning. Your Mother lives inside your laughter. And she's crystallized in every tear drop. A mother shows every emotion .happiness, sadness, fear, jealousy, love, hate, anger, helplessness, excitement, joy, sorrow... and all the while, hoping and praying you will only know the good feelings in life. She's the place you came from, your first home, and she's the map you follow with every step you take. She's your first love, your first friend, even your first enemy, but nothing on earth can separate you. Not time, not space...not even death!

MAY WE NEVER TAKE OUR MOTHERS FOR GRANTED.

"The best and most beautiful things cannot be seen or touched -
they must be felt with the heart."
~Helen Keller~

A Rescue Cat Poem

To you, from all your rescue cats...


I would've died that day if not for you.
I would've given up on life if not for your kind eyes.
I would've used my claws in fear if not for your gentle hands.
I would have left this life believing that all humans don't care
Believing there is no such thing as fur that isn't matted,
Skin that isn't flea bitten, good food and enough of it, beds to sleep on someone to love me, to show me I deserve love just because I exist.
Your kind eyes, your loving smile, your gentle hands
Your big heart saved me...
You saved me from the terror of the pound,
Soothing away the memories of my old life. You have taught me what it means to be loved.
I have seen you do the same for other cats like me.
I have heard you ask yourself in times of despair
Why you do it
When there is no more money, no more room, no more homes
You open your heart a little bigger, stretch the money a little tighter
Make just a little more room...to save one more like me.
I tell you with the gratitude and love that shines in my eyes
In the best way I know how
Reminding you why you go on trying.
I am the reason
The cats before me are the reason
As are the ones who come after.
Our lives would've been wasted, our love never given
We would die if not for you.

Author Unknown

Oh sh$$$ my house is falling down around me..

Its not safe here at the moment, D is clearing out the back bedroom and its sounds like all hell is breaking loose. There are lots and lots of bangs and wallops that are unexplainable and I daren't wander upstairs otherwise I will end up with my head bitten off..

I think this is my cue to go to the library, its safer there I think..

I can't think of a witty title :-(

*Today is Potato Chip day*

Ugh Its now nearly 8.30am, and I had been tossing and turning for the past hour to the point where I was disturbing D, who has the week of work on holiday (oh joy!). It didnt help that my darling dog Bear does insist on sleeping on our bed at night and this morning he thought he would snuggle inbetween me and D - oh joy!! He is not exactly a small dog and when he wants to settle down on the bed suddenly he sprouts more legs than a centipede :-) So after being poked and prodded in the back by Bear I decided to roll out of bed as best as I could.

Now I cant remember if I told you about falling down the stairs over a week ago, and after checking back on my blog I didnt, so it must have been the time I didnt write for a week. Well anyway a week ago this Monday just gone, good old Natty decided to go toboganning down her last 4 stairs. Now you would think a girl my age would know better that you dont do that sort of thing indoors it is supposed to be done outside and in the snow..lol. But no this 38 year old thought it would be fun to do it down the stairs - NOT!! Ok I was negotiating Smudge (the old cat!) who for some reason known other than to herself thought it would be fun to see how slowly we can go down the stairs with Mum behind us.. Anyway after successfully negotiating not treading on Smudge I then decided it would be fun to slip down the last 4 steps..ugh!! Oh what fun I dont think. I bounced is all I can say, lol. Ok its not really funny now but I think if anyone had seen me it would have looked funny as all you could see of me was a heap in the bottom of the floor and not sure whether to cry or laugh..

Now to the good part.. Previous times when I have fallen down the stairs I have normally had enough padding on my rear end that it doesnt really do that much damage, well since the weight loss has reduced a considerable amount of padding all over I dont have such a padded rear to take the impact. Oh no and didnt I notice this.. I hit the bottom stair with such force that I have been in absolute agony since. I have either done some damage or very very badly bruised my coxyx area of my back. And this is no fun at all I can tell you. I am unable to drive a long distance anymore, as I cant get comfortable - the furthest I can go without crying with the pain is to my local Asda which is literally 5 mins down the road, and to the dr's which is 5 mins the other way. Oh and for some reason I can feel every bloody speed bump that I go over or down, wow that is absolute agony I can tell you.

Well even after taking painkillers and resting as much as I can for the past week I am still in agony over a week on almost to the point of it being laughable. Once I am in a position on the sofa I cant move because otherwise I literally jump through the ceiling in agony. I have been joking to D that I want a rubber ring to sit on, but thinking about it maybe its not such a bad thing at least I would be comfortable in bed and on the sofa.

Should be an interesting car ride on Wednesday as we are going over to Essex to Thurrock to visit Ikea, the big Asda Home and Living store and our three monthly visit to Costco. I should be okay as long as D avoids any speed bumps or potholes...lol

And now I am getting pissed off with Telewest while typing this.. I was happily watching Two Pints of Lager on tv replay and the damn thing decides to become unavailable while I am a quarter of the way through..how inconsiderate!! I cannot wait until we get the TvDrive in a few weeks, at least I can set it to record this programme in the background.. :-) Oh I am easily pleased..lol

Someone pass the bucket..

Whoppee doo I had 3 days of no barfing because my body thought it was *aunt flo time* although she didnt really show up that much. Now normally I have her visiting for the shortest length of time 3 days and the longest length of time 7 days..well this time it was more like blink and miss job - and still I have nothing now. Ok sorry that was tmi ...

But today the barfing feeling came back with a vengenance..ugh!! I've been crying all the time over the stupidest things, and it wasnt just a sob they are great big hacking sobs. And the tiredness - well even D commented on it yesterday.

I've already had a wee kip for 30 minutes today..

Took a test but it was neg, so now I have to wait 2 more weeks to have another test.. Oh how I love these waiting games..NOT!!

My stitched piece for Laura..

This is the finished heart that I stitched for Laura's memorial quilt which is being stitched by the stitchers in the blogging community.


My two cats Ollie and Smudge have been tagged by Rosiekiwi
but unfortunately I haven't let them near the computer just yet. They should be able to come and play on it later today/tomorrow.

Still feeling pooh..

Well its now day 5 of the nausea..ugh!! Thought I was doing okay although I woke up early this morning (3.45am) and got up. But as soon as I had my first cup of tea - BANG!! The nausea kicked in..ugh!! The cramping wasnt as bad last night, although as I type this I have twinges now..nothing I cant handle though. So come Monday it will be either a trip to the Dr's re pregnancy or a trip to the chemist for the tampax..lol.

D got a bit worried last night as I was feeling dizzy and faint while cooking dinner, but it passed. I put it down to the heat of the cooking..

You would think I would be an old hand at this but I'm not cos this is definately not like I have had previously, especially not the nausea or cramping before I am due on..

Oh well its all fun and games.. :-)

A couple of receipes..

Here's the receipes for the cakes I made the other weekend when I had my flymeet :-)

Banana, sultana and apricot bread

75g dried apricots (the squidgy ones that come ready to eat)
75g sultanas
1 lemon
100g soft but not melted, unsalted butter
125g caster sugar
2 large eggs
3 large ripe bananas
200g self raising flour

A loaf tin measuring about 13 x 23 x 7cm, baking parchment or loaf tin liner, chopping board, sharp knife, grater, mixing bowl, wooden spoon, fork, plate, sieve, large metal spoon and wire cooling rack.

Preheat the oven to 160 deg C/Gas mark 3. Line the loaf tin with baking parchment or even better use a loaf tin liner.
Chop up the apricots so the pieces are roughly the same size as the sultanas. Grate the zest of the lemon.
Cream the butter and sugar in the mixing bowl with the wooden spoon until they're well blended. Break in an egg and beat it into the mixture completely, then beat in the other egg.
Add the dried fruit and lemon zest.
Mash the bananas well with the fork on a plate, and add them to the bowl. Stir well.
Sift the flour into the bowl and carefully fold this into the mixture with the large metal spoon, making sure you dont leave any "pockets" of flour.
Scrape the mixture into the prepared tin and gently level the top with the back of the spoon. Put the tin in oven and bake for about an hour - check the cake after 50 minutes.
It is ready when you can insert a knife into the middle and it comes out completely clean. Leave the cake in the tin on a wire to cook for about 15 minutes, then turn it out of the tin and peel off the paper.

Store the cake in an airtight tin and it will keep moist for a few days.

(copywrite Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall)


Luscious Lemon Cake

4oz soft margarine or butter
6oz caster sugar
6oz self raising flour
4 tablespoons milk
2 large eggs
Grated rind of one lemon

Syrup
3 rounded tablespoons icing sugar
3 tablespoons fresh lemon juice

Grease and line a 2 pound loaf tin. Set oven to 350 deg F, or Gas Mark 4. Cream fat and sugar, add eggs, sifted flour, finely grated lemon rind and milk.
Mix well to a soft dropping consistency. Put in tin, smooth top and bake for 40-45 minutes until firm.
Mix sifted icing sugar and lemon juice and pour over cake as soon as it comes out of the oven. Leave in tin until completely cold.

I prefer it without the syrup personally.

Store the cake in an airtight tin and it will keep for a few days.

My March Goals:

These are my goals that I am hoping to do during March - yep I know we are already well into March..lol.

Finish the next ornament for the Ornament RR and get it sent out March 27th.
Finish and mail out Laura's quilt piece
Stitch small ornament for a stitchalong
Mail out pieces for an exchange to the US
Finish a spring exchange and package up.
Stitch on the Mystery Quaker Stitchalong
Make a start on my rotation :)

Hopefully I should have this all done :)

At the moment I am awaiting a lovely parcel from Jaynes Attic of some beautiful overdyed pearl fabric and various threads. Once I get this I can make a start on the mystery quaker piece :)

I also succumbed yesterday and brought the online stitching magazine The Gift Of Stitching. Unfortunately the subscription started with issue 2, so I had to back order issue 1 as well. All I can say about this magazine is I love it. I've already earmarked a couple of pieces to stitch :-)

A few photos before I update..

Shall be updating later in the day today.. Sorry for not being around the past week,life gets in the way :(