Still feel like shite
Thursday, June 16, 2005
Well its not been a good couple of days now and yep this is definately a flare up. The annoying thing is I havent had a flare for such a long time I almost forgot how crippling it is. Maybe I had been deluding myself that everything was okay. But nope this has certainly made it even more clearer - I cannot do the things I want to do.
The really weird thing is that it's mainly down my left side. My neck hurts like hell, my left hand is numb and my hip is hurting too. I also want to sleep a lot at the moment too.. grrr!!! Cant I do anything right - jeeze all I want is a normal life.
You know even the computer hasnt had any appeal to me, which is bad..lol.
Can't even say I have been stitching as I havent - oh well c'est le vie!!!
Hopefully by the weekend I should be a bit more mobile - well I better be as Dave has said he is going to take me to a psychic fair on Saturday up at Iwade. And I am really wanting to go.
Also its the dreaded day tomorrow - one year since J and I split up. I have been trying so hard not to think about it, but every so often it pops into my head. Still I suppose it doesnt help its also my 16th Wedding Anniversary..!! Last years celebration was totally ruined because of what happened early morning over the phone. I was incapable of anything but crying. A year on I'm incapable of anything except hobbling..lol. Well I suppose its something that I can laugh about it, time is a good healer, its true what they say. I still wonder what he's up to, and how he is. But that is only natural I suppose. But life goes on!!
Gods if I was capable of going out tomorrow I would just disappear for the day somewhere, I would dearly love to go to my special place in Bysing Woods. Just to sit by the lake and watch nature go by. Maybe if I dose myself up with painkillers I might be able to drive there. I think that might be a plan - especially as I havent been there since J and I went there 4 years ago.
Flying towards my dreams @3:30 pm