hmm

Absolutely nothing to put so am heading off to bed. Its midnight, so am hoping that I can get up at a reasonable time tomorrow morning as I want to go into the library and post a couple of parcels.

So night night people :-)

Oooh heck I gone and done it now..

I was a bad girl last night, I was thinking things over while reading a few blogs and decided to send an email to J..oh shit now why did I do that..? Oh well cant take it back now.. Still hopefully it will open the door of friendship :-)

Have booked an appointment to have my hair highlighted and cut on Saturday morning, so am looking forward to that. Just I have to take my little red car down to the scrapyard before I go to the hairdressers. So it is going to be the end of an era when I take her in, and I am sure I will have a few tear when I sign her over :-( Still the good news is that I have a gorgeous new car waiting for me in the house garage, so mustnt complain too much :-)

Off to Asda to buy a couple of mags :-)

Inane ramblings - Part 1

I say part 1, as I will probably put another post up before I go to bed.

I want to know why doesnt my dog decide to bark when he wants to go outside in the garden? He just sits there wagging his tail. Now how I am supposed to see he is wagging his tail from the other end of the room, when I am sitting on the sofa with my back to him I have no idea, may be thinks I have xray vision..oooh how I wish :-) Then when he wants to come in, does he make a noise? Does he heck as like!! Nope, he just sits there on the patio looking in the door. I think I am going to have to get an automatic door release then train him to put his foot on it..lol. oooh now thats an idea, wonder if anyone has every thought of that - kind of like a catflap without the flap bit..lol. Now I could make millions out of this :-)

Went to the inlaws at the weekend - not a lot to say on that as per usual..lol. Did have a nice meal at Grimaldi's restaurant in East Dean on Sunday, and we are going back there in July for FIL 75th birthday meal.

Had a pleasant discussion with MIL, she was trying to remember how old I was and she thought I was only 30yrs old, bless her. She seemed actually quite surprised when I told her I was 37.. Maybe I do look younger than I am, is that a good thing or not..???

And that is all for part one of my inane ramblings... :)

I saw in in your eyes...

I saw this on another blog, and I do hope Broken Dreams doesnt mind me borrowing this..I think its lovely and yes it does kind of touch a chord:

I saw it in your eyes

When you walked in, I quickly understood that you
weren't fooling around. That everything that had come
before was now over.

And, my first hint was your eyes. They were silver.
Purified by the suffering you had gone through.
Sanctified by the pain.

And it was then that I remembered that you
had been on a journey. A dust and dirt road back to
who you were, and onward to who you might become.
If you could just find the courage.

Well, apparently, you found it.
Because when the door first opened and the
faces turned to watch you walk in, we immediately
knew that you were no longer who you used to be.

No longer that person who would instantly apologize
for taking someone's time just because you
noticed them glancing at their watch.

No longer that person who would quietly wait for
help in a store because you figured some other
customer was more important.

No longer that person who waited weeks for
someone to return your call.

Instead, you moved on.

Moved on to knowing that you deserve respect
and returned calls. That you are everything
grand and good, with just a touch of shadow
thrown in to make you interesting.

And, tonight, when you walked in, I saw something
else in your eyes, too. Deep, where you and eternity meet,

I saw what I could be. If I did what you had done.
So, now, having decided, I'm ready.

If you don't believe me, just look in my eyes.

Major, major decision...

Just went to book my little car in for an MOT, and after speaking to my mechanic I have made a decision. I had to check with DH if it was okay, as it would mean I would take over the ownership of Dave's car and the end of this month rather than in August as planned.

Anyway the upshot of it is, I am now the proud owner of a 3yr old Daewoo Lanos 1.4i in Racing Green. DH is ringing the insurance company to transfer details. My poor little car is going to be scrapped at the end of this month :( She has served me well, and I will miss her because she is so much a part of me, and has seen me through a lot. But well I cant keep ploughing money into an empty pit each month..so drastic action was needed.

Poor Dave has to swallow his pride and not say anything when I use the car for little trips..lol. He used to moan before cos it was HIS car, now its MINE he cant say anything..hehehehe.

Wow cant believe it, I own a 52 reg car...wowser!! Trouble is its a bit more powerful than my little campus 1.1..lol. And my insurance has gone up by £10.00 a month, but thats small compared to having a reliable car :-)

Oooh I am soooooooo happy..

Couldnt have happened at a better day as I go to see the Psychiatrist in half an hour's time ...ewww I hate him :-(

This is so true

I found this while browsing through another blog "Chickadee" and I hope she doesnt mind me putting this up, but all credit goes to her and I think this is such a poignant piece and I can so relate to it.

One Last Try

hi, sorry to bother you,
I just had something I needed to say
I don't know if you'll like it
I'm afraid of what it might do
you might just turn you're back on me
but I have to take that chance

I know you've lived a lifetime
in the years we've been apart
made your way and done great things.
I've had my share of adventures, too,
loving, living, trying life on for size.
but here in your arms again
those years just disappear and I'm yours.

[chorus]:
I'm sorry I'm a little late
took a wrong turn somewhere out west
zigged when I shoulda zagged
made a left when I shoulda went right
but I'm here with you now
and I still love you
I'm ready for my life to begin

I know I let you down
I know I hurt you
You found love and comfort
in the arms of another
she held you and kept you whole
but in the end she only let you down
can it be my turn again?

[chorus]

I wouldn't blame you
if you hate me for what I've done
and I couldn't blame you
if you can't forgive me for leaving you alone
you have every right
to tell me I had my chance and lost it
but I couldn't sleep without telling you

[chorus]

one last try, my love
we belong together
one last try, my love
the future could be ours
one last try, my love
let's make our family whole
please, say you'll give us one last try

I know its late and I am getting maudlin, so I think I had better go to bed before I start typing about something I shouldnt do..and yes I do still miss the words someone said to me before.."I love you Nat"

Its late, I'm bored so here's my ramblings..

Well I am sitting here watching yet another evening of "Hells Kitchen", and for those that don't know what it is, go here: Hell's Kitchen. Not even sure why I have it on...probably cos I can't be bothered to turn the t.v. over..lol. Although I will admit its quite funny watching Gary Rhodes and Jean-Christophe lose the plot with their "chefs", jeeze the trainees they have cant cook for toffee. Hell even my mother could do a better job and thats saying something. Some of the clientele haven't even had anything to eat yet, well apart from a couple of bread rolls and some soup, Gary Rhodes keeps sending the food back cos he doesnt like the look of it.

Watched the Nicole Kidman version of "The Stepford Wives" at the weekend and found it brilliant. It was so comical it had me giggling away. Now wonder if DH would notice if I became a stepford wife..lol. Now that is an idea, I could become the perfect housewife - have his dinner ready for him every night, no takeaway food - all home cooked, the ironing all up straight and put away as soon as it was washed and dried, the house spotless - not a thing out of place and definately no clutter, baking cakes for said DH and other niceties. Always being nicely turned out, with my hair done every day instead of pulled into a ponytail. Ooooh now wouldnt that be fun..lol. Funnily enough my mum told me about 10 years ago I was turning into a Stepford Wife type person, I even had the frilly aprons etc.. she thought I was definately not a well person. Well it was at the beginning of my breakdown so that explains it. I still have the aprons though tucked away in the wardrobe. :-) Oooh I am so tempted to try this little experiment out..wonder if my psychiatrist would think I had definately lost the plot..lol. Hmmm keep tuned for updates to see if I do go ahead with this.

Have been watching Dog The Bounty Hunter at nights, oooh what a good programme. I am totally amazed at how compassionate this guy is, he looks like he could crush you with one sweep of his arm but he is a pussycat when necessary. Wonder why we didnt find this programme before? Oh yeah I know its on Bravo and we very rarely put that channel on, but I think we may be rediscovering the delights of this channel :-)

Have sorted out the Dragon Floss threads to send to Jo, and popped them in an envelope ready for DH to post tomorrow on his way to work. Also sorted out a card for Tabs and Angel, after the sudden loss of their mum. Must sort a card out for Michelle thanking her for the JCS mags, well the one from last month and the one that is in transit. That is so sweet of her. Its nice to find there are people out there that are good and have no ulterior motives. :-)

Hmm what else, well I havent done any stitching today so I must do some tomorrow. Hey that could be part of my Stepford Wife routine too..once the house and cooking is all done I can sit down and do an hour or so of stitching :-)

Oooh I'm hungry so am off to hunt out a marmite sandwich and a mug of horlicks..mmmm scrummy!!!

But I'm proud to be a brit..lol

Your Linguistic Profile:

45% General American English

30% Yankee

15% Dixie

5% Midwestern

5% Upper Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

But I was born in February ...

Your True Birth Month Is March

Moody Secretive Revengeful Trustworthy Affectionate Loves traveling Loves attention Shy and reserved Musically talented Loves home decor Not easily angered Sensitive to others Loves special things Attractive personality Loves to serve others Loves peace and serenity Observant and assess others Loves to dream and fantasize Appreciative and returns kindness Hasty decisions in choosing partners Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic

What's Your True Birth Month?

Was going to write something..

But I havent got anything to write.. I had all these ideas swimming around my head earlier but for the life of me I cant find them. Maybe they will come back to me and I can write them tomorrow..who knows.

Off to another night without my sleeping tablets..thats 3 nights in the trot..yay!!!

Aaaaaah ...

I just did a clean up on my computer, as I had finally got round to downloading the new version of CleanUp. I did notice it was now tweaked to clean up Firefox ...

Well what goes and happens, I've lost my history!!! Ack I use that a lot too, mainly because I cant remember half the sites I go to..eeeks. So failing that I went and checked the drop down thingy on the address bar - nada! Nothing!!! Thats gone too... [b]OMG disaster[/b]

Oh well I suppose it will stop me from procrastinating on the computer when I should really be doing other things, like errr housework and stitching..lol

Off to stop procrastinating..i.e. shower and get dressed :)

Sun is shining and I have blooming tootache..grrr

Its a glorious day, sun is shining and the birds are singing, and what do I have..flipping toothache. Think I broke a piece of my tooth last night on a spare rib and am paying the price now. So have taken some painkillers and now have a tingling lip and mouth. D has gone to get the shopping so I told him to get me two packets of extra strong painkillers incase I need to take them rest of the day :(

Have joined a RR yahoo group, which a friend recommended, so will sort out what robins I want to join this weekend. Oooh exciting :)

D is off to play choo choo's at the Steam Railway this afternoon from midday, so I am going to tackle the huge ironing pile while watching the new Stepford Wives on Pay Per View :) Aaah bliss...lol Well thats if I am not throwing my head against the wall trying to kill my tooth :(

Feeling like absolute s***

Cant even say why I feel like this. Got up this morning and didnt really want to get out of bed. Darn phone went at 7am, it was a friend checking on something..ye gods couldnt they have rung at a reasonable hour - like midday.

Have been mooching around all day not really doing anything, although I have managed to put the hoover around and dusted downstairs and swept the kitchen floor - wow thrilling eh!!!

T.v. has been on but couldnt tell you what has been on, I have a very vague foggy memory today and I cant shift it. Have looked at my stitching but cant summon up the enthusiasm for it and I have to finish the Alphabet RR off for posting, and make a start on the WOCS RR piece. I have got the material sorted, and have found the border design I want just have to pick the colour for the border and the flower to go in the middle. I've also got to stitch up the WOCS coaster, but that wont take too long, thankfully its only a little one :)

Boards are quiet everywhere on the net, and am awaiting approval for a group that Hiliary (The Dragon) belongs to..it will be good if I can get approved for that one. :)

Dont I lead an exciting life..lol!!

Oh I am so pissed off now...

I dont get it, if someone has a problem with another person, why cant they take it to this person rather than pussyfooting around their friends and coming to a totally wrong conclusion. You know maybe if they contacted this person to find out things, maybe they have had problems or havent felt like talking to anyone then maybe it would be sorted out without any hurt caused. If someone has said they have sent something, and it hasnt turned up, well its not their damn fault if the postal system is so cr@p that it is stuck somewhere..I mean do they want them to go and sort through all the Royal Mail sorting bags for it. NO they just turn around and say that they didnt keep to a committment..that is so wrong!!

You know sometimes the internet is like a kindergarten, talk about petty. And because someone wont say something to someone they decide to draw their own conclusions and this in turn causes hurt.. Maybe a kindergarten is a good summary, because some people are so childish in their ways.

Haven't updated for a couple of days..oops

Haven't really had anything to put, and I still dont..lol

I am stitching a bit more, and still trying to get my rotation into order. Shall be going with Belinda's suggestion of 5 hours instead of the usual 10 on a project..thanks for the idea Belinda :)

Its freezing cold here and I have had to put the stupid heating back on..grrr

OMG I am watching the news at lunchtime and there is this woman who went into hospital for a routine operation and contracted this MRSA that is flying around our hospitals, and has come out of it totally braindamaged. It is so sad, my heart goes out to the family.

Think I will pop to Asda for a couple of things, and keep my fingers crossed that my car doesnt sound too unhealthy with the sick exhuast.

OMG its 5.55am

Its some ungodly hour, why am I up and about? I have been up since 4.30am :-(

Woke up this morning spluttering and coughing..ugh!! Now why is it when I am doing this no-one hears me? Bear was fast asleep at the bottom of the bed, he didnt even stir - all I could hear was snoring!! And Dave, well he was dead to the world - blooming typical I am dying in my sleep and nobody notices..lol. Not even the cats came to investigate!!

Anyway tried to get back to sleep, and I couldnt so I got up. Washed up the supper things - shock horror!! Made a cup of tea and actually took my medication at a reasonable hour. Then I settled down with my stitching..:-) I didnt even put the t.v. on which is a miracle in itself - I just sat here with the birds singing the dawn chorus and the odd car going past in our close. It was so peaceful!!

Well peace has been disturbed, Bear is up, well I say up he is sitting here looking at me as if to say "what on earth are you doing up, its night!!" and Dave is eating his breakfast ready to go to work. The cats are kind of wandering around as if they should be aware of something but not quite sure what!!!

OMG Invicta radio is playing that crappy tweety song that you can download...eeeeeeeeeeeks!! Must go to bed, must go to bed!!!!

Woooohooooooooo Dipppitydooo

Ok yep I know I have lost the plot..lol. But I had some real good news yesterday and was so excited about it I couldnt post it..lol. I have been bouncing around all day, and now I have come back to earth I can blog it :-) DH is getting a new car in August, as in a brand new car cos his 3 year one is due for renewal.

Ok so this is NOT the good news..this is... I am getting his old car. A 3 year old green 3 door Daewoo Lanos SE 1.4i - I am so excited.!! He has says as mine is costing me more to keep on the road now, and as he has to either keep the Daewoo or give it up..he thought about it and has said he will give it to me. :-) I mean what can I say..talk about a lovely present.

And I dont have to give him any money for it, all I have to do is get it MOT'd and pay the tax from August :-) It is certainly going to be totally different driving around in this rather than my little beaten up red banger.

Just I dont want to give her up as I have become rather attached to her. But I will keep the number plate, as I am not going to get another car with a personalised NAT on the end of it ever again.

Roll on August........ :-)

AAAAAAAAAh nothing on tv

I am sitting here flicking through terrestrial t.v. and all I can find on BBC1 and ITV1 are the Pope's funeral. Now I have nothing against the guy, and I am sure he will be sorely missed, but do we have to have the funeral on both channels? I mean tomorrow it will be the Royal Wedding all day, as if that isnt enough to stomach!!

Thank gods for cable, although I darent put that on incase the pope has infiltrated on there.

Only one thing for it....I shall have to get dressed and stitch to the radio..aaah peaceful!!!

Mad stitching woman

Tomorrow I am going to be a completely mad woman posessed by stitching. I am going to have to sit down and do something else to go with my bunni exchange, then run it up the post office to get it out in the last post at 5pm. Well it is possible I suppose if I get out of bed before 9am, get dressed straightaway and then do the washing up and anything else that needs doing. Then I can crash out on the sofa and stitch away till my needle is smoking.

This will be me after 5pm

Bunni exchange - I am a klutz

I dont believe it, I have finished my bunni exchange and was just about to package it up, when I was rereading the details and I have done it totally wrong. I was supposed to have stitched an egg shaped thing, and I have done a beaded piece. Oh poops!!! Now I have to quickly stitch something up to go with it, and I dont know what. And this has to be posted tomorrow, and I do NOT want to miss the posting date. I actually want to get it out ontime for a change..lol.

Hmmm quick check on my books/mags I think for inspirations.

The other thing that happened, was my postie brought a lovely package from Belinda (Clioratha) this morning. 15 small marshmallow peeps, which are absolutely adorable and so yummy. I actually ate 5 of them with my breakfast..had to put them out of the way otherwise I would have ate them all..lol. And with them was three cross stitch magazines from Better Homes and Gardens. I spent a good half hour drooling over them while eating breakfast this morning. The things in there are far superior to what we get to stitch in our mags. Definately a few things to put on my todo list. :-)

Am going to wait till after the 17th, when Dave's CC bill has come in, then I am going to order a few surprises for Belinda to say thank you.

OMG I dont believe it

I have just been reading on a couple of computer forums, but it looks like Blueyonder are going to upgrade the speeds again in May. It seems that my 4mb speed is going to go to 6mb...blimey thats going to be a bit fast. All you will need to do is blink and the page will open..

There's even talk of possible 10mb being trialed out. Hmmm wonder if Dave will pay for that,..lol

We will see if this happens..shall have to keep view the computer forums..:-)

Finally managed to download w.bloggar

Well I finally managed to download w.bloggar after the site had been hacked into over Easter. And all I can say is...WOW!! Much better than blogjet at the moment. Now we will see what little gizmos and thingys it does..woohooo!!!

Its midday and I am not up to much

Well its gone midday and so far I have done not a lot..lol. Apart from showered, stitched the hem of my skirt and had a banana I have done nothing else. But I did have a lovely chat to a flybaby online, and am going to have a cuppa with another flybaby in a short while :-)

I did a bit more of my Easter Buni exchange piece last night, and am planning to get it all finished today and in the post tomorrow.

Then onto stitching the Alphabet RR that is sitting with me at the moment as that has to be posted on the 15th, and its rapidly creeping up on me.

Browsing The Rotation Board today I have definately decided to do a rotation list, just not sure where to start or how long to do it for. Trouble with me is I get bored very easily with my stitching. *note to self – persevere this time Nat*

So there you go thats my update as of now…

I have come to a realisation..

Well Dave has..lol. I don't do funerals and don't do old people  Now is this a bad thing or not, I’m still not sure on this one. Think I will have to think more about this one..

It mainly came about when Dave and I were talking about my Nana in Scotland. After a discussion with my mum it seems that my nana may be coming down to live with mum up the road from me..eeek. The thought of the pair of them in one room kind of gave me the collywobbles. I couldnt even bear thinking about mum and nana together permanently, and me going to visit them. So we came to the conclusion that as well as funerals I don't do elderly people

 Well the only elderly that I seem to do is my elderly geriatric cat Barney

There must be other people out there that don’t do funerals and elderly people…

Yep I know its 12.15am, but I have been asleep on the sofa for the last two hours so am just shutting down the computer…

I am so tired its unbelievable. This morning I went up to have my shower and fell asleep on the bed for an hour. Dave came up to see where I had gone and had to wake me up. Luckily it wasnt Bear that woke me up..lol

Have had a hard time being able to grip things today for some reasons. I have noticed that I am dropping things over the last few days, but have put it down to clumsiness. But I dont think it is

 My arm on the left side is very heavy and I can hardly do anything with it which is worrying. I couldnt even open the jar of mint sauce this afternoon, Dave had to open it for me. This can only point to one thing..

My M.E. is flaring up. I havent had a flare up for ages, it has been relatively at bay. But nope we think its cos of the flu/measles that I got, it has weakened me without me realising it. And now my body is just going into shut down mode for a while. Oh fun!!!!!

Oh well I am off to bed, and see if there is any change tomorrow, I do hope so.

 

I am in purple puddles here and just had to share it with my "friends" on the web

As many of you know I suffer from depression and a continuing battle with keeping it at bay, well someone from one of the bulletin boards for cross stitch that I visit, and post on a fairly regular board heard I was looking for an american cross stitch magazine because it is far superior than ours in England. Yep she is an american. Well I have just had this lovely email from her:

Hi Natalie!

Okay, I've gotten a bunch of JCS issues together (I'm sure I have more, but can't find them...)

So what I'm about to send:
 2002 Christmas Ornament issue (I had two of them for some reason...)
1996: Feb, Apr, Jun, Aug, Oct, Nov
1997: Feb, Apr, Aug, Oct
1998: Feb, Jun
1999: Feb, Aug, Oct
2000: Feb, Apr
2001: Feb, Apr, Oct
2002: Feb, Apr, Jun, Aug
2003: Apr
2004: Apr, Dec
2005: Feb

And a box of bright yellow Peeps ;) I'll get these out to you this weekend!

Its not just one or two magazines that she is sending me, she is sending me a whole bunch and some lovely peeps that the americans have.

This has reduced me to tears, because I only talk to her on the bulletin board, and that hasnt been for very long (couple of months or so) and she has done this for me.
You know it restores my faith in humanity when this happens for no reason at all.

The other thing that happened to me was my mum rang me to tell me she is going to Scotland on Monday because my Nana is not at all well, and wants all her children around her. So I am just going to be really waiting for the phone call from mum. But that isnt what happened that made me cry, it was that mum and I were talking and she was saying that after what had happened between me and her during my childhood and how she knew she was an absolute c*** mother in the worst sense, she never expected me to look after her when she got old and couldnt do it herself. So I said to her that she was being silly and that I would always be there for her whatever, she could always rely on me to look after her till the time came. Her words were "you do not realise how much that means to me to hear you say that" - boy did it bring a lump in my throat. As I am perfectly in my own right to totally disown my mother because of what she did to me when I was younger (it involved rape, abortion and court!) Sorry tmi..anyway I think I am having a purple puddle evening..

Sorry but I had to share it with you all