I am in purple puddles here and just had to share it with my "friends" on the web
Saturday, April 02, 2005

As many of you know I suffer from depression and a continuing battle with keeping it at bay, well someone from one of the bulletin boards for cross stitch that I visit, and post on a fairly regular board heard I was looking for an american cross stitch magazine because it is far superior than ours in England. Yep she is an american. Well I have just had this lovely email from her:

Hi Natalie!

Okay, I've gotten a bunch of JCS issues together (I'm sure I have more, but can't find them...)

So what I'm about to send:
 2002 Christmas Ornament issue (I had two of them for some reason...)
1996: Feb, Apr, Jun, Aug, Oct, Nov
1997: Feb, Apr, Aug, Oct
1998: Feb, Jun
1999: Feb, Aug, Oct
2000: Feb, Apr
2001: Feb, Apr, Oct
2002: Feb, Apr, Jun, Aug
2003: Apr
2004: Apr, Dec
2005: Feb

And a box of bright yellow Peeps ;) I'll get these out to you this weekend!

Its not just one or two magazines that she is sending me, she is sending me a whole bunch and some lovely peeps that the americans have.

This has reduced me to tears, because I only talk to her on the bulletin board, and that hasnt been for very long (couple of months or so) and she has done this for me.
You know it restores my faith in humanity when this happens for no reason at all.

The other thing that happened to me was my mum rang me to tell me she is going to Scotland on Monday because my Nana is not at all well, and wants all her children around her. So I am just going to be really waiting for the phone call from mum. But that isnt what happened that made me cry, it was that mum and I were talking and she was saying that after what had happened between me and her during my childhood and how she knew she was an absolute c*** mother in the worst sense, she never expected me to look after her when she got old and couldnt do it herself. So I said to her that she was being silly and that I would always be there for her whatever, she could always rely on me to look after her till the time came. Her words were "you do not realise how much that means to me to hear you say that" - boy did it bring a lump in my throat. As I am perfectly in my own right to totally disown my mother because of what she did to me when I was younger (it involved rape, abortion and court!) Sorry tmi..anyway I think I am having a purple puddle evening..

Sorry but I had to share it with you all

Flying towards my dreams @10:46 am


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